Temper, Emotions and other such annoyances

Every bone in my body is filled with emotion of some sort. I like who I am and dont have complaints but sometimes I wonder if the emotions are really a good thing. Nothing in excess can be good for you. Yet I do have it in excess. It makes me feel every little thing that much more. Every small thing hurts and cuts that much deeper. And it can be painful. I wish I could just step back and assess things in a more 'practical', 'simple' way. I wish I didnt have an urge to react everytime something small upsets me. I wish those small things didnt upset me in the first place. Is it under my control though or is it just the way I'm wired. I could blame it on the genes. My dad is probably the world's most emotional man but on the other hand my mum has the world's most stable mind. Especially on a woman. Where do I stand then? At times I can see glimpses of my mum and her level headedness in me but those moments are rare and far between. Rather I see myself get hurt and get upset and get angry. When I really don't want to. Can I really change this part of me? And even if I could - would I want to? Sure it can be annoying. Sure it can mean not being able to deal with problems in a straightforward way. But what if it is the very essence of me and ridding myself of my emotional side removes who I am?

Random Ramblings

I've been very infrequent with my blogging of late. I haven't quite had the inspiration or when I do, I don't have the time. Am I'm developing a fetish for microblogging occassionally through twitter but usually through facebook status messages. 'Tis sad. I know! What happened to the good old days of blogging complete paragraphs? No more no more. An attention span can only last for a few words. I wonder if one day we will actually stop having thoughts beyond one sentence. I'm not even kidding. The internet and all things associated with it have become such a part of our lives that I scare myself sometimes. Especially when I read or hear something funny and have an incredible urge to say 'LOL'. Nope. Not joking. I've wanted to whack myself really hard every single time. So if microblogging becomes the way to talk about your opinions, we'll all start thinking in 140 characters. how awesome would that be? LOL

Though my fascination for twitter is starting to grow. The impact it seems to have had in Iran and to think that many people joining hands in spreading their thoughts can really be heard is amazing. Maybe microblogging really is the new wave.

I didnt actually start this post wanting to talk about new developments in technology! I'll leave that to the real bloggers who write content that people care about. And I will continue with my usual randomness. So why did I start writing today...because I'm desperately trying to pass time and willing every minute to go by faster. My parents are one hour away from the city and hopefully no more than two hours away from here. Cant wait cant wait cant wait. It's been six months and while that may not seem like a lot I know how much I've missed them every moment of it.

But perhaps I need to start getting used to it. I've talked in my previous posts about being excited about getting married and starting a new life. Which no doubt I am. But it doesnt take away the sadness I feel when I realize how far my parents will be. And how i will never now go back home. It's not quite that either. I made a very conscious choice when I decided to get married. He is worth every sacrifice and every change, and I want to make a new home with him. Yet I cant shake off the feeling that the home I knew growing up, the city that I know every street of, the friends who know me inside out, and my parents without who I would be nothing are all so so far away. Thank God for the internet. And the phone. And a salary big enough that I can fly home anytime. And a (to-be) husband understanding enough to humour my whims.

So what was I talking about anyway. Yes. Parents arriving. For the big graduation. Marking the end of two years of studying(?) and the beginning of a new career.

And what an amazing two years they have been. While I did say I was ready to move on, this week I have started to realize just how much I will miss this place and the people I have met. While I can't believe it has been two years since I got here because time really has flown, it also in a strange way feels like I've been here all along. School and everyone in it have become such a part of my life that not seeing them every day will be a strange feeling. I don't think it has quite hit me yet. That soon all the familiarity will be gone.

Moving to a new world. A new life. Away from all things familiar. Away from this amazing bubble that school created for me. It is exciting. But yes I will admit it - a little scary too.