I think I'm in love...

with the idea of being in love. I am such an old fashioned girl when it comes to love and romance. Ever since I was 16 I've had fantasies of being swept off my feet. About being wined (umm well sparkling grape juiced in my case) and dined. Of red roses (though I do prefer yellow myself) and long walks. But seriously - there is something about being in love. The idea of someone in your life, someone who will take care of you, someone who is just there. Someone whose very thought would bring a smile to my face. Someone who I look forward to talking to or seeing at the end of every long day. I really miss that. When I see couples in love I couldn't be happier for them, but am left with a lingering thought of when I will find that one that I'm looking for. Don't get me wrong - while I dream of love - I'm not one to believe that we all have this 'one' person who is made for us.

I know there are many people out there that I can be equally happy with and I'm sure whoever I end up with will make me very happy. Until a few months ago the idea of arranged marriage scared me - part of it because how do I marry someone I haven't spent enough time with to really know. But I dont think that was the main reason. I truly believe that most people in this world are inherently good and I don't think I will end up with someone who I won't like. I do trust my parents - and I know that they will give me all the time in the world to make my choice. So why not give it a go. It's just one way to meet someone new right? So back to what it is about arranged marriages that I'm actually against - the thought that my dreams of so many years will remain unfulfilled. The idea of falling in love. The idea of romance. But then the silver lining I see behind every cloud says - why should I think I won't fall in love with said guy? And why would there not be romance in it. My mum and dad had an arranged marriage - they barely even knew each other when they were married - yet you would never know the way my dad behaves! So that's the one wish I do have - whoever that guy is - I hope he is the one I've been dreaming of. And whatever I did dream of does come true.

Actually I take that back. That would be wish number 2 for me (If God gave me three wishes). And what is the first wish I would ask for? That if there is such a thing as another life - that I be born to the same parents again. But more on that for another day.

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na - If only...

Every once in a while I watch a movie where I wish I was the character in it. No it doesn't happen in superhero movies. I have no fantasy of flying or saving the world (though come to think of it, it doesn't sound like a bad idea). That feeling usually comes in cute love stories - though not all of them. I always feel that way when watching Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. If I could choose a love story for myself it would be that one. The movie I watched this weekend gave me the same feeling. It was the perfect story - best friends who discover that they have been in love all along. What could be nicer than falling in love with your closest friend. That's always been my dream since I was a child. Yes I admit it - I was the typical girl who dreamed of love since very young :)

Back to the movie - there is a certain freshness about it that really puts a smile on your face - even though there is nothing new to the story and the climax in particular is oh-so-cliched! Yet that cliche seems adorable here. All thanks to the simple script and the amazingly natural acting by the whole cast. Imran Khan makes a fantastic debut - he could pass off as Aamir Khan's son with that same cheeky smile, a smile that is conveyed even through the eyes! Genelia has long been one of my favourites - especially after watching Bommarillu (there's another movie I would love to be a part of!) - there's something about her - she becomes the character and you never for a moment think it is a movie. Everyone is the movie was splendid - I especially loved loved loved the scenes between Naseeruddin Shah and Ratna Pathak - great chemistry there!! And I have to mention the guy who plays Genelia's brother - who I later found out is Smita Patil's son Prateik - he is around in just a few scenes - but absolutely fantastic! My favourite two scenes in the movie are those between Genelia and him - first when he confesses he misses her and second when he tells her she is stupid to think of marrying anyone else.

The story of the movie is very simple - two people who have known each other forever refuse to acknowledge that their feelings for each other are anything but platonic. And to prove it to the world, they find each other perfect partners. Only to discover that they can't stand the thought of someone else being closer to their friend. So perhaps friendship is love and love is friendship?

But whether you believe it or not, to everyone I would say - go watch the movie!! And while you're at it - find me a Jai Singh Rathore :)

Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein koi apna lagta hai....

Does true love exist?

Yes I know there are a lot of happy couples out there that believe that they are truly in love. I am not trying to be cynical here at all. In fact I believe in love completely. But of late I have started to question whether what we believe is love is the true definition of love. But then, I suppose love is defined however we wish to define it.

So what is true love to me then? I thought I knew but as I grow up I'm not quite sure any more. And if I'm not even sure of what it is, how will I ever find it? But to find it - it has to exist right? Which brings me back to my original question.

What am I trying to say here? To be completely honest I'm not sure. Just that I wonder if what some people say - that someone out there was made for you - and that person is your soulmate - your one true love. And when you meet that person, you will somehow know. Really? But what if I dont meet that 'one'? Destiny you say? Ok so my destiny takes me to him and I happen to sit next to him on the bus. What next? How am I supposed to know?

The thing is I was never a big believer in destiny. I used to think that we make our own future and we can do what is right for us. But then something happened to change that thought. Something that made me realise that I'm not quite as powerful as I thought, and somethings are actually beyond my control, and no matter how much I try to change something, if it wasn't meant to be, it wont be. That's what the whole concept of destiny is right? Hence maybe I'm starting to believe in destiny.

And because of that my idea of love is starting to change too. Love to me was always an extension of friendship. That you meet someone and become such close friends that the idea of spending your life with them sounds like the most beautiful future you could think of. That you make a relationship happen, you make that commitment, and you take that risk even when things are against you. But what if I'm wrong? What if the whole destiny thing is correct and one day I will run into that 'one' that is my perfect other half (not that I believe in perfection in relationships...my favourite quote about relationships happens to be "A great marriage is not when "perfect couple" come together. It is when an imperfect couple learn to enjoy their differences"). What I mean is what if there is someone out these in the world who I am meant to be with?

And if there is, I want to find that person. I guess that goes against the whole destiny thing. So I'm contradicting myself. But it might be because I dont quite want to let go of my whole 'I make my own future' thing. Anyway, I have started to mumble and blabber...and havent really made much sense.

Anyway, while my practical side tells me to stop being a silly dreamer, a small part of me does hope that the romantic notion of 'the one' is in fact true - and that all my life will lead to that one moment when I find that person and know that he is it. :)

Marriages are made in heaven

Watching my cousin get married was an amazing experience for me. To see them together so happy and so in love - my eyes were moist during the ceremony. Makes me want to believe in love again. Makes me want to believe that when the time is right, everyone meets that special someone and you really do then end up together, and all the past is then just that - the past. At that moment, nothing matters - no wish unfulfilled, no dream impossible - because the only thing that counts is that you are standing with a person that you will spend the rest of your life with. A person you chose. Or perhaps a person God chose for you.

Valentines day - - who cares??

I drove past a florist yesterday that was advertising single roses for $18 and a dozen for $150!! Are you kidding me?! On any other day they’d be a fifth of the price! So why do people go through all the trouble of sending flowers and doing things on this particular day?

Ok so now this is starting to sound like the growing opinion that valentine’s day has become too commercialised and its silly to do anything on the day. Everyone seems to be saying ‘who cares about valentine’s day’? But actually I beg to differ. I care!! I know people say that when you love someone anyway why pick today to show it but its just something to remind you of that special person in your heart isn’t it? So if I had a partner of course I’d want to do something on valentine’s day with him…no matter how cheesy others may find me! Heck what’s a relationship without a bit of cheese! Hehe!

But why not think of something different. Not the standard roses or cards or chocolates but something simple, sweet and from your heart. I for one would love a silly but cute text message a lot more than a dozen red roses!

What would I do for my valentine (if I had one of course!)? Bake him a lovely cake! Delivered with a big hug..and a smile to die for! Happy Valentines! :)

My idea of love

I watched a movie the other day which I loved (well I didn’t love the whole movie…it was about 6 couples and I loved this particular story)…the guy is trying to convince a woman to marry him inspite of everything that is going against them…she asks him how it is possible that their relationship can go on and how can he be sure that they would be happy in the future…and he says that he doesn’t know what tomorrow would be like, but they would make it beautiful together, because without her there is no tomorrow. I was touched to see that perhaps there are people left in the world who think about why it WOULD work rather than coming up with reasons why it wouldn’t.

No relationship is perfect and no situation is perfect. It is what you make of it. The husband in the movie is just the most amazing guy you could meet. He fights to be with her and makes the best of his life with her. Even when she loses her memory of him following an accident, he doesn’t for a moment give up. She decides to leave him because she cant see him in that state but he tells her that they would start over and make new memories. To stand up for your love inspite of everything and everyone, To want to keep a commitment inspite of your head giving you reasons that it cant go on, To only want to be with that person no matter what else happens, To not ever give up on that person – that to me is true love.

And I hope that one day I too find such love.

Mr and Mrs Iyer - love beyond caste and religion

Watched a movie over the weekend that I simply had to talk about. A few years old but probably one of the most beautiful love stories I’ve seen in a long time. The movie – Mr and Mrs Iyer. I would say the movie is simply a must watch, if for nothing else, then just to see Rahul Bose’s character in the movie. If I ever met a guy like that, I’d probably marry him!

On to the movie – its set among communal riots where two strangers meet – an orthodox tamil brahmin woman and a fairly liberal muslim man – and how it changes each of them – more so the woman. How she looks beyond the stereotypes she has grown up with all her life and how she realises that there is more to people than their caste and religion. I think every indian who stands and talks about how a certain caste or religion is better than the other should watch this movie and perhaps their eyes too will be opened at least to some extent.

I find is hard to believe that educated people in today’s world are still so hung up on caste and religion. I’m not quite sure why the caste system was made in the first place, but whatever may have been the reason, I am certain that the reason is obsolete by now. Why then are people still treated a certain way because of the caste they were born into? Aren’t we all human beings? What gives someone a right to claim to be superior just because of the surname that they were given? It has nothing to do with their accomplishments does it? It was just a case of coincidence that God decided to send one to family A and the other to family B. What makes one better than the other then?

Anyway back to the movie – the way the story is told, though slow, is very moving. Watching them develop feelings for each other, you cant help but get tears in your eyes. And the ending – well I wont spoil it for anyone who wants to watch the movie – but though I know that there was no other way they could have ended the movie, a small part of me was praying for something different :)

Can you really find your soulmate after you're married?

Strange question I know but I just saw a movie (a pretty bad one mind you) that is based on that very question. And though I didnt like the movie it does make you think.

In the movie two couples who have been married a few years start having problems. One couple because the wife is more successful than the husband and is not able to devote any time to him. The second couple I couldnt quite understand. The husband is any girl's dream partner - sweet, funny, romantic, successful and completely in love with her. Yet his wife is not happy because she is looking for something more (what this something is is never explained in the movie..but since I'm not reviewing the movie here I will overlook that). Anyway so the husband from couple 1 and the wife from couple 2 meet a few times coincidentally and become friends in an attempt to help each other salvage their marriages. In the midst of this they discover that they have infact falling in love with each other.

Apparently the premise of the movie is that you shouldnt marry for compromise, and I cant disagree with this opinion. However, is it really possible to meet someone who is your soulmate once you are married. Don't you just stop looking. I know I am being naive and that many people have affairs outside their marriage. But I've never thought of these affairs as true love or finding your soulmate. I just find the idea so hard to grasp. To fall so in love with someone else when you have been in a happy (albeit with a few issues) marriage for so long - the idea doesnt make any sense.

Firstly I have never believed in the concept of soulmates. But to those who do, dont they believe it is in your destiny to meet your soulmate. Why would destiny play such a cruel joke then where other hearts are broken?

I suppose I am over analyzing what is of course just a movie, but still, I do wonder if it is possible. And all I can say is I hope and pray that something like that never happens to me because I cant think of a scarier situation. And if what happens in the movie could happen in real life, I do wonder how you know that someone is your soulmate before you marry them. How do u know he is the one? You can never be sure right? What a scary thought