The end of an era

It's almost here. The end of business school. Has it really been nearly 2 years? It doesnt feel like it. Till a few day ago, I was very upset. Sad that the experience is ending. Perhaps scared of real life? But a switch somewhere was flipped and suddenly I'm ready. Sure, I have had an amazing two years and met some really great people, but I think mentally I am nearing the end. The same bubble that seemed safe and lovely is now starting to feel a little claustrophobic. The parties, the socializing, the people. After a while it's all overwhelming. A few days ago I was at a party with many of my friends, yet the vibe, the atmosphere - I just didn't feel a part of it. I'm not quite sure why. Am I over standing around watching people drink themselves silly? Or is just that I am starting to get over the experience itself.

I know I sound terrible and I don't mean to. Because these two years have been two of the best years of my life (though I still don't think it compares to my Undergrad years). I'm just tired. And I'm ready for the next phase of my life. I think the MBA is made to be just enough time to be a great experience without feeling like a drag.

It may have something to do with the fact that every day that I spend here is a day I spend away from a certain somebody. And I'm tired to being so far away from him. It may have something to do with the fact that after spending a weekend with him, I feel like having to spend the next four weeks apart is painful. And a phone call is never enough.

And it may have something to do with the fact that every day of Kellogg that ends brings me one day closer to the biggest day of my life. It's so funny. A friend the other day asked me if I'm stressed about getting married. Am I nervous? I should be shouldn't i? But strangely, I'm not. Most people freak out 2 months before getting married. I on the other hand just want these two months to end.

It truly is the end of an era and the beginning of the rest of my life. A life shared with someone amazing. And honestly, I can't wait.

I think I'm in love...

with the idea of being in love. I am such an old fashioned girl when it comes to love and romance. Ever since I was 16 I've had fantasies of being swept off my feet. About being wined (umm well sparkling grape juiced in my case) and dined. Of red roses (though I do prefer yellow myself) and long walks. But seriously - there is something about being in love. The idea of someone in your life, someone who will take care of you, someone who is just there. Someone whose very thought would bring a smile to my face. Someone who I look forward to talking to or seeing at the end of every long day. I really miss that. When I see couples in love I couldn't be happier for them, but am left with a lingering thought of when I will find that one that I'm looking for. Don't get me wrong - while I dream of love - I'm not one to believe that we all have this 'one' person who is made for us.

I know there are many people out there that I can be equally happy with and I'm sure whoever I end up with will make me very happy. Until a few months ago the idea of arranged marriage scared me - part of it because how do I marry someone I haven't spent enough time with to really know. But I dont think that was the main reason. I truly believe that most people in this world are inherently good and I don't think I will end up with someone who I won't like. I do trust my parents - and I know that they will give me all the time in the world to make my choice. So why not give it a go. It's just one way to meet someone new right? So back to what it is about arranged marriages that I'm actually against - the thought that my dreams of so many years will remain unfulfilled. The idea of falling in love. The idea of romance. But then the silver lining I see behind every cloud says - why should I think I won't fall in love with said guy? And why would there not be romance in it. My mum and dad had an arranged marriage - they barely even knew each other when they were married - yet you would never know the way my dad behaves! So that's the one wish I do have - whoever that guy is - I hope he is the one I've been dreaming of. And whatever I did dream of does come true.

Actually I take that back. That would be wish number 2 for me (If God gave me three wishes). And what is the first wish I would ask for? That if there is such a thing as another life - that I be born to the same parents again. But more on that for another day.

Marriages are made in heaven

Watching my cousin get married was an amazing experience for me. To see them together so happy and so in love - my eyes were moist during the ceremony. Makes me want to believe in love again. Makes me want to believe that when the time is right, everyone meets that special someone and you really do then end up together, and all the past is then just that - the past. At that moment, nothing matters - no wish unfulfilled, no dream impossible - because the only thing that counts is that you are standing with a person that you will spend the rest of your life with. A person you chose. Or perhaps a person God chose for you.

My idea of love

I watched a movie the other day which I loved (well I didn’t love the whole movie…it was about 6 couples and I loved this particular story)…the guy is trying to convince a woman to marry him inspite of everything that is going against them…she asks him how it is possible that their relationship can go on and how can he be sure that they would be happy in the future…and he says that he doesn’t know what tomorrow would be like, but they would make it beautiful together, because without her there is no tomorrow. I was touched to see that perhaps there are people left in the world who think about why it WOULD work rather than coming up with reasons why it wouldn’t.

No relationship is perfect and no situation is perfect. It is what you make of it. The husband in the movie is just the most amazing guy you could meet. He fights to be with her and makes the best of his life with her. Even when she loses her memory of him following an accident, he doesn’t for a moment give up. She decides to leave him because she cant see him in that state but he tells her that they would start over and make new memories. To stand up for your love inspite of everything and everyone, To want to keep a commitment inspite of your head giving you reasons that it cant go on, To only want to be with that person no matter what else happens, To not ever give up on that person – that to me is true love.

And I hope that one day I too find such love.

Can you really find your soulmate after you're married?

Strange question I know but I just saw a movie (a pretty bad one mind you) that is based on that very question. And though I didnt like the movie it does make you think.

In the movie two couples who have been married a few years start having problems. One couple because the wife is more successful than the husband and is not able to devote any time to him. The second couple I couldnt quite understand. The husband is any girl's dream partner - sweet, funny, romantic, successful and completely in love with her. Yet his wife is not happy because she is looking for something more (what this something is is never explained in the movie..but since I'm not reviewing the movie here I will overlook that). Anyway so the husband from couple 1 and the wife from couple 2 meet a few times coincidentally and become friends in an attempt to help each other salvage their marriages. In the midst of this they discover that they have infact falling in love with each other.

Apparently the premise of the movie is that you shouldnt marry for compromise, and I cant disagree with this opinion. However, is it really possible to meet someone who is your soulmate once you are married. Don't you just stop looking. I know I am being naive and that many people have affairs outside their marriage. But I've never thought of these affairs as true love or finding your soulmate. I just find the idea so hard to grasp. To fall so in love with someone else when you have been in a happy (albeit with a few issues) marriage for so long - the idea doesnt make any sense.

Firstly I have never believed in the concept of soulmates. But to those who do, dont they believe it is in your destiny to meet your soulmate. Why would destiny play such a cruel joke then where other hearts are broken?

I suppose I am over analyzing what is of course just a movie, but still, I do wonder if it is possible. And all I can say is I hope and pray that something like that never happens to me because I cant think of a scarier situation. And if what happens in the movie could happen in real life, I do wonder how you know that someone is your soulmate before you marry them. How do u know he is the one? You can never be sure right? What a scary thought