Another favourite quote

Since in a post yesterday I mentioned on of my favourite quotes (On Success), here is my other fave:

Khudi ko kar buland itna
Ki har taqdeer sey pehley
Khuda bandey ko khud poocchey
Bataa, 'Teri razaa kya hai?' - Muhammad Iqbal

Translation:

Endow your will with such power
That at every turn of fate
God Himself asks of you
'What is it that pleases thee?'

Powerful words!

I'm now 33.33% an MBA!

With the assumption that I have passed my exams! :)

Second quarter through and tomorrow I leave for a trip to China and Korea. Will be amazing. I think I need to start keeping a travel log. I've seen all these great places but in the future they will just be a distant memory - and I think I'd like to remember how I felt about each place. Will start with this trip - at least make sure I make one blog entry for every city I visit. I did start this when I went to Europe - but only managed to do two out of the four cities - my laziness then caught up. Perhaps one of these days I'll do a recap of what I thought of the other places I've been to as well.

Here's a random photo - I have no idea what it is or when I took it - but it kind of looks cool. I think! :)

Just to make the blog more colourful

I think my blog needs more photos - especially since I love taking pictures...will try to put up some of the ones that I like. Here's one of my fave shots (out of those I've taken). In Jaipur - outside some palace (cant remember which one - there were palaces everywhere - speaking of which, it was an amaaazing city!).

Grades = Success?

Have an exam in two hours - and though I think I will be ok...I do sometimes wonder what the purpose of exams is. Is it a measure of how good you are? I have known people through college who probably had the best knowledge of a subject and yet could never get past a B - and others who may not have understood what was going on yet got straight As. (and I'm ashamed to say sometimes I felt like I was part of the latter group - I have As is courses that I'm not sure I did actually understand everything - yet probably knew what the teacher expected). Just doesn't seem fair.

And what are grades anyway? What does an A mean against a B? If I have an A does that mean I am better than you? Better how? All seems to silly and pointless. How can this single letter be some way to tell me that I have been successful or I haven't. Isn't there so much more to being 'better' or being successful. Oh well, I suppose when you live in a world, you abide by the rules - and these letters seem to mean something here. So I shall go back and attempt to get that A.

Speaking of success - brings me to my favourite quote(I wish blogger.com would stop telling me I have a spelling error every time i type 'favourite' - what if I dont wish to go the american way and drop the u??). Anyway back to the quote - this pretty much sums up everything I believe about life and success:

“To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded..”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man-made sunrise!

My flatmate's brother watched the launch of the shuttle Endeavour yesterday. Here's a photo he took. Absolutely stunning! Copyright to Parag :)

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A friend of mine started a new blog...and its definitely worth a look! And it has real information. Not like my random rants.

So have a read!!

http://mysciencemysteries.blogspot.com/

Time flies and I wonder what is ahead

Yesterday a friend of mine put up photos online that were from four years ago. Now I cant decide if that feels like it was just yesterday - or it actually feels like it was a lifetime away. I get both feelings, isn't that bizarre? But I do have to say that time definitely flies. It definitely feels like just yesterday I was thinking about coming to business school - and now I'm close to the end of my second quarter - which marks the completion of 33% of my degree.

Sometimes I feel I came back to school to escape reality for a while, and that is exactly what it is. Being here in this artificial environment thinking we're all invincible (though you get a wake up call from that during recruiting season). But if time goes so fast, it means I have to go back to the real world again and soon. Am I ready for that? And this time it will be for real. When I finished my undergrad, I went back to do a masters - prolonged being a student for a little longer. But even when I did start working, I continued to live at home. And that is far from reality. I still had the comfort of knowing that if I screwed up my parents were there to stop me. Coming to business school is my first sense of independence and 'taking care of myself'. But then, as I said this is artificial too.

So what will happen in an year and a half when I step out into the real world. Alone.

This one's for you Amrit...

so apparently I have been tagged by my darling friend Amrita (http://writersanon-amrita.blogspot.com/)...and i have to now give out six random quirks about myself

pretty hard that - considering how perfect i am and all

but oh well, here goes

1) Every morning when I get up (no matter how busy the day is or whether I have exams on the day) - I have a ritual online of a set of websites I go to - including email, social networking, news, cricket and yes even celebrity gossip. Thus I make sure I wake up at least 20 minutes before I should have. If I want to start studying at 5, i wake up at 4.30. Rather lose half an hour of sleep than let go of my ritual.

2) When I'm really bored or a little depressed, I try on pretty clothes. Just in the comfort of my room. With accessories. Weird. I know.

3) I always have a couple of new clothes in my wardrobe. Always! Its great when I have an occasion when I really want something new to wear - I dont have to go shopping in a hurry. And yes, I love wearing new clothes :)

4) 99% of the time I wake up 5 or 10 minutes before my alarm goes off. Yet I always set 2 alarms to be sure.

5) I never chew or bite chocolate. Never. Even if there are nuts around or inside, i will wait till all the chocolate melts in my mouth first.

6) I never go out without lip balm or lip gloss. I find it comforting. Dont ask me why.

apparently the 2nd step is to tag 6 other people but unfortunately i dont have 6 friends - so this is enough for now!

And it keeps going

DING DING DING...so goes the sound. One rejection after the other, and the old ego is suffering. No matter how hard you try to keep up a brave face at one point you do start to wonder - inspite of all the reassurances we have been given that EVERYONE lands an internship (am i going to be an exception to that rule??). Oh well I suppose it's still early days and I mustn't give up hope, but damn this isn't easy! But I suppose life never is. Which makes me wonder - maybe I have had it too easy till now in life. Getting everything I wanted without having to struggle. Maybe this is life and I'm finally getting to experience it?

Oh well, I shall not think about such things - and head to New York for a fun weekend. Ok at least i will TRY not to think about this! Either way - New York here I come :)

Poor Student:0, The Great Recruiting Monster:1

One battle down and one battle lost. Apparently my strategy of being myself didn't quite cut it. First interview of the season and the first ding. Ahh its an interesting life. Time for Plan B. Prepare the heck out of everything and be the robot they want you to be. And what a hypocrite I will be. But what can one do when one must find a job?

On another note, chicago weather can be pretty interesting. Yesterday morning started with a beautiful 9-10 degrees. The entire day was warm enough to walk around in a light jacket. Even when I walked to class at 6 in the evening, the weather loomed just above zero - but still completely manageable. Three hours of class later - walk out and there's a snow storm! what the hell! it was interesting walking in the storm (a mild one it must be said) - i actually enjoyed it. I must be insane - got my first rejection yesterday, and walked through the snow with no gloves or hat - and i was so happy in general.

Everyone around me seems more and more stressed while I feel like i'm on holiday. I mean sure I want a job too, but I just cant seem to get myself to worry about it enough to forget everything else in life. I mean seriously. Its a job. You will get one. Take some time to stop and smell the roses. Or the snow

And it begins...

Here I am two hours before my first internship interview (keeping up the tradition of blogging at the most inappropriate times)...very mixed feelings right now. I know I should be nervous cause I am not as ready as I know everyone around me is. But I am finding it so difficult - preparing for an interviewing...practicing the answers you will give to questions...the whole process seems odd to me. Is it just me or is it an American thing? Or perhaps its an MBA thing. Which would make sense I suppose...with engineering, as long as you can do the work, people are happy to hire you - no bullshit required. Here it feels like - they can train you to the work, but they want to make sure you have the ability to bullshit. Sorry for sounding so cynical - but well, i am!

Yesterday was the first day of recruiting and it was pretty freaky seeing everyone in suits getting in and out of interviews...everything feels different at school now. Everyone working towards getting a job - and not really caring about anything or anyone else around. I suppose thats life, and thats what we're here for. Feels like classes arent even important, with the attendance lower every day - because after all, we're not here to learn. We're here to find a job. It totally sucks...Cause I'm really enjoying class, but definitely not this recruiting stuff...

I'm sure once I screw up today's interview - which I just might - I will stop being cynical and get my ass down and prepare. But for today, I have decided, I will be myself - and see what they can throw at me. And leave the rest to fate, God, whatever...

So let the games begin

happy new year and all that

So 2008 is here...like seriously???! where did the year go? Why is time going so damn fast? doesn't it sometimes feel that every year goes faster than the previous one? So here's my very silly theory of why that could be - every year is a smaller portion of your whole life than the previous one (so when you're 1 the past year was your WHOLE life and thats a big deal, when you're 10 the past year was 10% of your life and when you're 25 the past year was 4% of your life)..so maybe thats why the years feel shorter? yes i know it doesnt make too much sense. well it does to me. and this happens to be MY blog. so shush.

My new years eve this year was the most uneventful of the past few years but still so nice. Didnt feel up to going out at all and was so happy at home that I spent it watching a movie at home with my parents. Home. Sigh. Hard to even start to say how homesick i feel. A lot more than I was when I left. People did warn me that it would happen - but I thought that was strange. Still think its strange, but at least now I believe its true. Anyway I'm sure I'll get over it soon. Lets hope!

So what do I think 2008 will bring to me? Love, Wealth, Prosperity...I will meet my dream man, find my dream job, become famous...blah blah. Actually I'll take peace and happiness for me and my family/friends. Rest will come with time i'm sure! A tad too philosophical? ok fine..i'll take the dream man - and maybe the dream job? ;)

My new years resolutions? Well there's the whole need to lose a bit of weight and get more fit blah blah crap. But its so ambigous and easy to break...so here's my resolution - at least 20 mins of exercise everyday...small but easy to do? lets see how i go with that. And there now that I have it in writing it will remind me to keep at it! :)

Anyway now that i'm back to school, it feels like I never left. Schedules are back to being busy and people are running around like headless chickens with their job hunting worries. Welcome back to business school

The wonder of nature

I'm sure the novelty will wear off in a few days - but I just wanted to capture the essence of what I feel about the weather right now. It started to snow in chicago this week, and I just can't stop looking outside. It is stunning to say the least! It isn't like I've never seen snow before - but I guess seeing snow on the mountains while skiing or on vacation is definitely not like going about your daily routine with snow everywhere. It looks so beautiful outside - that while walking out every morning I pause to just take it in. I've been told that it will only take a few days before I start to dislike it - but for now, i absolutely LOVE it here...! Its not just the snow, the air is so crisp and breathing it in makes me feel so alive...and before this post gets any more cheesy I will sign off

(Plus I suppose I should be studying for my exams!)

Until next time..

Marriage to a tree?

Yes I do realize that all the stuff about Aishwarya Rai getting married to a tree was well in the past. But I started thinking about it yesterday thanks to a friend who seemed to find the idea completely fascinating and was wondering what happened to the tree that she married. Apparently he read somewhere that being manglik means your spouse will die within the first year! (though a lot of people define it more as something that could lead to problems within a marriage - and in extreme cases death). Either way, so the root of the curiosity was wanting to know if the tree that Aishwarya Rai married was still ok - and he thought there should be someone tracking the tree!

So I did a little reasearch on it last night (yes i seriously have nothing better to do - and no exams are not nearly as fascinating) - and it turns out that she married 2 trees...but unfortunately noone has had this brilliant idea yet of checking up on these 'husbands' of hers! The more interesting bits I read were that since Ash did it, it has become more prevalent - manglik girls marrying trees or something...seriously! anything can turn into a fashion in India!

On a more serious note, what could lead educated people to be so superstitious. I argued with someone once about this during the Abhi-Ash wedding and they said - its not that people believe in it but they want to be cautious 'just in case' there is some truth to it. Isn't there a flaw in that argument - if you dont believe in it, where does the 'just in case' come in? And if people who are so high profile indulge in such customs, what does that mean for the less educated population who look up to these people. Are you telling everyone that there is some truth in the belief that just cause a person was born at a certain time, she is unlucky?? Like there wasn't enough crap like this going around anyway!

And what of the people who dont really know anything of astrology? And what of non-hindus...since its all about what time you were born and how the planets were aligned(?!) - they could be manglik too?!

I've never had any charts done for me, so Lord knows what curse I am carrying. Perhaps i should marry the tree outside our building and find out?

Happy Diwali!

So it was diwali on friday and I have to say it was kind of depressing to be away from home for the first time. Totally missed mum, dad and my whole family back home. But I've realised that family can be anywhere and anyone - and I think I'm starting to find one here. I came home on friday night from a long day to find my room decorated with diyas and chocolates and mithais and everything set up like it was diwali. All done just for me by my amazing amazing roommate and another friend. Cant even start to say how touched I was...actually started to cry. I really do think I'm blessed...I always manage to meet the nicest people everywhere.

Apparently its called 'B-school' for a reason

Thats what they told us in the first week. Dont care about grades. You're going to get Bs. Blah blah blah!

And after my first set of midterms I'm starting to believe it - the part about the Bs. Havent yet worked out how to stop caring about grades though! It is so hard to not care...especially having spent all of my high school and college life aiming for the top - to now be ok at being in the middle is scary. I know business school is not really about grades and it's about what you learn. But i still care damn it! I want to learn but I also want to do well.

The sad thing is I have no idea how. During engineering I know that if I put in a little more effort I could get that A or A+. What do I do here though? So many of the classes are so subjective, there is no way to know how I've done. I had a midterm that I though I had done decently - till I got the grade back!! And I know I put in all the effort I could. What to do what to do? Work harder? Pray even harder? Or start accepting the fact that it's 'B-school'??

Passion can be contagious

I look around and everywhere I see bankers and consultants - well those who want to be anyway! Great for them - its what they really want to do - but it is so much bloody pressure. To be asked WHY i'm not doing consulting. Because I dont really have an answer. Apparently it is THE career to be in. Maybe. Maybe I'm like totally in another world and need to wake up or something? Because I dont really have an answer for why I dont want to do consulting. And sometimes I get sucked in. The other day I felt the pressure and replied to an email from a recruiter from a consulting firm for a phone chat. Suddenly I had to think of things to say to him - like why I want to work for BCG - and how was I supposed to do that - when I dont - well not right now anyway. The funniest part was - during my 15 minute chat to him I talked more about the healthcare industry and less about consulting, making him say something to the effect of 'why arent you just applying to healthcare firms if that's what you want to do' - and i just felt like saying 'I knowwww!!' And I didnt even realize what I had said to give him that impression!!

Anyway the up side of being in business school is that there is a set of people who are truly passionate about something outside the norm - and that inspires me. And it definitely keeps me from going insane. There's a guy I met who has a simple yet awesome business idea that could really make a mark I think. And though he's still at business school I can see how much he cares about this and how much he really wants to do it, and I find that amazing. I totally admire the fact that he's managed to stay away from the pressure of everyone around him recruiting for all these so-called wow jobs and keeping focus on his dream.

And I guess seeing that, I am still focusing on what I want to do. Well to be honest I dont really have a goal I am working towards at the moment, but I am just waiting for something that feels right. And consulting doesnt right now. Summer internship recruiting time is fast approaching - and everyone's scrambling from event to event while I seem to be sitting at home contemplating my life - and at times wondering if I'm nuts.

The problem is - I dont yet have a specific thing I am passionate enough about to pursue. I mean I do - starting up my own biotech firm would just be the ultimate dream - but thats just too vague and not something I can pursue at the moment. But I know I can at least try to work towards it? Whether it happens or not, or how feasible or realistic it is, is a whole another deal, but there's definitely no law against dreaming right?

But right now I can just feel that passion is contagious. Seeing someone else care about something so much and pursue it makes me want to be really passionate about something too! And right now I'm passionate about being passionate I think - but hey that's something! :)

by the way - more about this person and his awesome ideas:
http://billionrupeeidea.com/
definitely a better blog than my random crap!

Yet another mood...

I'm feeling a little disillusioned...I've started to have this feeling over the past year or so that so many people aren't what you think they are. People I grew up with started to change and have entirely different personalities - but then I guess that was it - they grew up. But even people I meet now - I think something of them for the first few times I see them - and it turns out that my perception of them was completely off. I've been told in the past that I look at life very idealistically - I live with a conviction that 99% of people in this world have no ulterior motive and are just good people. I'm not questioning that they are still good people - but I'm starting to wonder about how much of their real self is evident to the world.

I am such an open book - to the extent that I constantly curse myself for it - everyone always knows what I'm thinking and how I feel. Though I know thats not the way to be - wouldnt the world be a simpler place if people were just themselves all the time. That they didnt feel the need to pretend - good or bad - just be yourself...Life would be so much easier - at least for an idiot like me..because seriously, I'm starting to realise more and more what a weakness my total lack of judgement of people is. Its not that I need to know exactly how someone is all the time - but when I like someone, be it as a friend or more, for traits that I saw in them, and they later start to behave in a total different (and sometimes on the border of weird) way - it hurts - and I start to wonder about the world, about myself, about my view of the world, and about my place in it. And it can be disturbing.

Can too much optimism be a bad thing?

Maybe its just a mood I'm in...because I'm the first one telling everyone to stay positive all the time. But sometimes it can hurt...Sometimes maybe I'm a little too optimistic and hope for too much - and when it doesnt it crushes you more than if say I had been neutral about the whole thing. Is it wrong to hope for the best - well hoping shouldnt really kill you - have I taken optimism too far where I'm going beyond hoping to expecting something to happen. I dont even know what I'm talking about. As I said maybe its just momentary thing - a change of mood - and I'll get up in the morning my usual self.

I mean I like being optimistic about things - i truly believe that umeed pe duniya kaayam hai (the world lives on hope) - but hope can hurt sometimes. There are things I have hoped very hard for in the past that didn't happen - and when they didn't I almost felt cheated, while I shouldnt have - because there had never been any guarantee anyway.

The worst thing is even when my mind knows that something isn't going to happen the way I want it to - there is a part of me just waiting for the circumstances to change - till I FINALLY get it (often too late)...I mean what's the bloody point of being optimistic if it leads to a person getting hurt?

I dont want to think like this though - I like being happy and positive about things...oh i dont know! I'm sure I'll go back to that tomorrow morning - its too much effort to not be positive...but sometimes I get so annoyed at myself. I really need to find the fine line between hoping and expecting - I think I've crossed it too many times...but HOW??!! I am the way I am - how do I change?

Once again life ends up too confusing for me...

Corporate Responsibility or Social Responsibility? - The socially responsible dreamer vs the wannabe corporate so-n-so :)

A conversation online with a friend about Corporates...two different perspectives (and in the end i dont think either of us managed to sway the other even 10%)...thought it was interesting enough to be logged...

Sam:did u watch Corporation...

m: whats that?

Sam: it's a docuementary about "Corporations"

m: about how they're evil?
:)

Sam: most of my friends who have been to B school watch it as a part of their course'
well what else are they good for
watch it and gimme ur opinion, am sure u`ll either like it or call it a hate propoganda, of some cynical losers

m: hmm i'll watch it for sure
i'm kind of sick of the corporations are evil type propoganda
i mean i agree they do a bunch of not-so-great things
but at the end of the day they are creating the economy

Sam: well u gotta realise they are..it's like saying am sick of people talking of Global Warming

m: its very easy to say get rid of all the big corporations - but what would u do then?

Sam: yeah but at what cost and whose pockets does this "Economy fill"
am sure civilisations did exist before them and society does figure a way of sustainable survival...

m: i think everything has a place in this world and sometimes its easy to just put yourself in a little bubble and make judgements about everything else
i'm not trying to be biased here - but sometimes it does get a bit much

Sam: and everything that has a place needs to exist with a social responsibility...

m: pepole find it easy to blame big companies for random things just because

Sam: well if it takes for one to scream at the top of the voice, to be audible, I wld do it...

m: http://on-cloud-nine.blogspot.com/2007/05/corporates-big-bad-wolf.html
see i agree that ethically unsound things do happen - and i dont agree with them - but its easy to get caught up in the blaming business
read that piece and tell me what u think
stuff like that makes me really mad

Sam: well and also watch the film and als watch Roger and Me and we cld talk it ...lemme read it now

Sam: well this is smart article trying to genralise an issue with one specific event...and there are many grey areas that cld be argued in those 200+ words...

m: i'm not generalising here
just talking about the specific incident
only put it here to give u an example of how blaming corporations can go too far at points
when that incident happened i was pretty damn angry at ppl's reactions

Sam: yeah, so there is an ambiguity wether the power company was informed or not abt the situation at home

m: its so easy to blame the power company though

Sam: yes it it, coz thtz always been a Socialist mindset

m: firstly if it was such an issue i really think they hsould have paid the bill after the warnings - new zealand is one country where ppl have NO excuse for not having enough to meet ends - because the govt provides income support indefinitely
its a totally socialist mindset
and yet these people didn't pay the bill
when they are saying the power was needed for her to stay alive (which it was later said she didnt - she only needed the machine occasionally)

Sam: yes but does the company see profit generation as a bigger motive than social responsibility

m: also when then power went off she had her 2 adult chlidren at home who could have easily either taken her next door or caleld the hospital
what happened to personal responsibility
i believe in taking personal responsibility rather than relying on social responsibility

Sam: yeah, the family is equally at fault..

m: at the end the power company couldnt be bothered dealing with the situation in court and compensated the family who then happily went away with their money
what does that say?
why is it the company's responsibility
they are providing a service and of course they should expect to be paid for that service
see i do believe in social responsibility
but i dont think it should supercede personal responsibility
sometimes with all the emphasis on social responsibility people forget that they need to help themselves too
living in new zealand you get totally frustrated - there are generations of people who dont work and are living off the government
why should i be paying taxes for people to sit on their asses all day?
the indians go one step ahead
they get compensation from the govt and then do cash jobs for which they dont declare income
one of our family friends worked at the income support office investigating income support fraud - and something like 80% were indians
it depressed him so much he quit his job
anyway that is beside the point
but those people who refuse to work because they are getitng money from the govt anyway - where is their sense of responsibility
why is it that social responsibility is made to be the business of corporates or those working in corporates

Sam: well sadly personal or moral responsibility is not even legally recognised to be an obligation, but a company to be in businees I feel should have a social responsiblity preceeding it's income generation

m: sorry i'm ranting a bit - i'll shut up

Sam: no..it's intresting..look at Monsanto did in S Americ and Vietnam..do u think it had any social responsibility

m: i agree that a company should have social responsibility but i dont think it is viable to expect that to be more than income generation
i should just paste this whole conversation in my blog :)

Sam: well then society should make sure they patronise companies they value socail ethics and pay only for those services...

m: thats personal choice

Sam: sure..and I`ll write back with my comments

m: you can't expect that of people

Sam: for sure, for a dreamer like me I will...expect that of people, nations and corporations
sure...

m: hope you dont think i'm an evil corporate b*tch now