Sunday, July 30, 2006

Astrology...a sign from God?

Let me start by saying that I have always been a big cynic when it comes to astrology and all those so-called sciences which talk about predicting the future. I do believe in destiny to a certain extent, in the sense that nothing happens without the will of God, but I also believe that God expects us to write our own path in life. While I believe that even things that seem wrong happen due to a purpose, I refuse to believe that I have no say in my life. I may sound contradictory here but well that’s just how it is.

Anyway a few days ago I was out in town with a friend where in a bar they had a lady who was doing tarot card readings. Both of us thought that it would be a cool idea to see what she would have to say about us. However, she had been booked out for the night. But being girls well the idea kind of stuck and we decided we should go find a tarot reader the following day and that’s what we did. We paid for a half hour reading (though I wondered what anyone could possibly talk to me for half an hour about!) and went in feeling sceptical to say the least, but nevertheless curious.

I walked in and the lady asked me what it is I wanted to find out. There was actually something that had been nagging my mind for a long time but since I didn’t believe any of this anyway and was only there for a bit of fun I didn’t say anything. I just told her that this was my first time. She shuffled the cards and asked me to pick out a few. I won’t elaborate on what exactly she told me but the things she knew and the things she said made me nearly fall off my chair. How could she possibly have known all that? Here I was, Miss I-Don’t-Believe-In-Astrology listening to her talking about what exactly I was stressed about. In the end she told me that I shouldn’t think too much about the problem as a solution would come forth in a few months. I was very happy that’s for sure. However, the cynic in me still refuses to die and I wonder if it could have all been a coincidence. I certainly hope not.

There is something that my mum told me when I told her about what happened though. Something that did reaffirm my faith. She linked the tarot reading to something I had always believed in anyway. That God is watching everything and he sometimes does things which we cant explain. She said that perhaps this was God’s way of telling me that things would turn out ok. That I should just let things sort themselves out and in the end I would be happy. And this was just a time when I was so depressed that I had started to wonder if God was thinking about me at all, and if he was, why was I going through this phase.

But I do feel better now. Strangely enough, due to the one thing I never had any belief in. Astrology. So thank you Tarot lady for making me believe. Or rather for reaffirming my faith in God. For making me believe that things will be ok. For giving me this sign from God.


Sometimes life feels like one constant de ja vu. I’m not quite sure why.

Well I have two explanations for this. One is very simple, that my life has become extremely monotonous where a lot of events repeat themselves.

The one explanation is slightly stranger. I have noticed that quite often when I wake up I remember an event that perhaps happened in my dream but seemed so real and so normal that I cant figure out if it did happen. And many times following that, the even repeats itself and thus the dejavu. And no I am no psychic and I can neither predict earthquakes nor winning lottery numbers. Heck I cant even predict my own future. What I am talking about is ordinary everyday events. Things that I knew would happen.

Say I have a meeting with a certain person the next day which I know about and I guess must have thought about before falling asleep at night. I dream about the meeting and how it will go. What I say. What I expect the other person will reply etc. And then I wake up believing the meeting happened the day before for at least a few minutes in the morning. Then when the meeting does happen, I cant shake off that feeling that I’ve been there before.

It happened so often for a while that I seriously started believing that I was infact living through everything twice. This was because I didn’t remember my dreams but now that I sometimes do, I know why I feel like everything is repeating itself.

I’ll pause here for anyone who is reading this expecting a point…please don’t…cause there is none! Its just regular blah blah with no purpose.

One thing I do feel bad about however is that my dreams are so ordinary. I mean I’ve read books about dream interpretation where they talk about what it means to dream that you are flying or that you have fallen off a cliff. Nothing like that has ever happened to me. I dream about talking to people, about having lunch, about watching a movie. Yawn! How terribly dull!