Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Happy New Year (though a tad late!!)

Just read a blog post from a friend describing her end of 2008 and beginning of 2009, which for her was very eventful (though not in a good way)...Ashanka, if you're reading this I'm sorry it wasn't a great start but I hope the rest of your year is just the way you envision a great business school filled with wonderful experiences and new friends. And I hope I get to read loads more posts from you because you always make me laugh. And Amrit...your blog too says that your start wasnt great, but I hope this year brings something new and amazing for you..soon you will be dr prasad and i hope everything beyond that is what you dream of and more. And again, I hope I read heaps more from you, because you always make me think. So Happy New Year you two...

So what about my year? What was 2008 like for me and what will 2009 be like. Out of curiosity I went back and checked what my 'happy new year' posts for the last two years have been. 2007 doesnt have one, but well the start of 2007 wasn't the greatest of starts for me. As for 2008 I apparently had a lot of hopes. In my flippancy I asked for 'a dream job, a dream man and to be famous'. Well I suppose two out of three ain't bad (though I'm not sure it's quite my dream job but it's one i'm excited about nevertheless). And on a more serious note I asked for peace and happiness for my family and friends. Well I hope that was true...and if they didnt get everything they hoped for, I hope this year brings a lot more for them. Because without them I'd be nothing. And I also hope it brings peace and happiness to the ONE whose appearance meant one of my wishes got fulfilled...because he has brought so much of it into my life :)
Speaking of which I must must come up with a nickname when I talk of HIM in my blog (I love the way two of my friends called their 'ones' 'The Loved One' and 'MOTH'(Man-Of-The-House) in their blogs. Note to self: come up with clever but cute phrase to refer to HIM)

2008 was interesting for sure. The beginning (including all the successes and the disappointments) to the end (spending it in my lovely Auckland with my family and closest friends). I learnt a lot about myself and the world...and really started to see things in a new light. For starters I turned 25 which I thought would be the turning for me - the age that I'd finally grow up and mature. Well, that didn't quite happen because I decided 26 would be a more appropriate year for that. Thus I have given myself another year to be a child (well as of now only 4 months of that is left so I wonder if 27 has a nicer ring to it?). Gosh! Turning 26. Now that sounds like a bit of a drag to me. It definitely is on the wrong (or well, the 'mature') side of 25 and well does that mean I will then be in my 'late' 20s. And is a girl (oops...should I call myself a woman) in her late 20s allowed to be silly and idiotic as I tend to be? Well I suppose 26 is still MID 20s but then I also suppose a girl (ahem! i mean woman) in her mid-20s is technically grown up too? Sigh.

Well the debate of me growing up can go on forever and the good thing is that the yet-to-be-nicknamed-one has been warned about the existence of a child within me that must be taken care of and nurtured and hopefully he is not put off by the daunting task ahead! So what do I want out of 2009 then? Nothing really because I think I have everything I could have asked for. And so much more. To the extent that the only thing that is potentially wrong with my life is that sometimes I live in the fear of having too much luck and it all being taken away from me. *shudder*. But beyond that I ask for the same thing as I did last year (minus the dream job and man). Peace and happiness for all those I love and care about.

No hablo Espanol

I've tried to write about the places I've visited in the past couple of years but in my laziness and also taking into consideration all that has happened in the past few months I skipped my week in Spain over Thanksgiving. I hope I can still remember enough to write about it...but I will write what I can.

The trip started in Barcelona where within an hour of getting there I struggled with not understanding any Spanish. Funnily enough the first person to speak to me in Barcelona spoke to me in Hindi. Us desis get everywhere!! Seeing me lost at the taxi stand (he was the guy who directed people to taxis not some random desi looking to dupe me) with my address printed on google maps, he directed me to a taxi. The taxi driver gave a ridiculously high quote (well a lot higher than my friend who lived in BCN had told me it would be) but at that time of night who was I to complain? So there I was in the taxi with the taxi driver asking me to enter the street name into his GPS and talking away in Spanish. I DONT UNDERSTAND I said but he kept going on and on. After about 20 mins in the taxi and him not finding the street on the GPS I finally remembered - global roaming! Yay for AT&T that my phone worked! And that $5 or whatever that I paid to call my friend - every cent was worth it! Apparently the map had the wrong address - in another town outside Barcelona!! Phew! close call.

Thankfully that was the only time that I really had trouble but that was because I was with a friend who spoke fluent Spanish. Note to self: Next time spend some money and get a phrasebook along with that Lonely Planet! Got to the apartment that my friend rented and waited for the arrival of my two favourite cousins. And then went out to the latest dinner I've had in my life - at midnight! Couldnt believe that there were restaurants open! Tapas!! Yay! I love Tapas and I really had my fill (though having pledged to be vegetarian for a couple of months meant a lot of potatoes!).

The next day started with a walk around Barcelona - down La Rambla and up to the waterfront. Saw some amazing architecture, heard great street bands and ate awesome food. What more could I really have asked for. Not to mention a man dressed like Edward Scissorhands that scared the hell out of me! The night was reserved for a taste of the famed Barcelona night life. Which I have to say started well into the night and ended early morning (that too on my insistence!). Apparently there are clubs that will even stay up till 7am - but 4 was about ALL I could pull off. The next day was a tour of the city to see the whimsical fantasies of Antoni Gaudi. I dont think I have ever seen a park such as the Parc Guell or a church such as the Sagrada Familia. The park felt like something out of a fairytale and I cant imagine what the man who designed it must have been like in real life. Everyone has an imagination but to transform that into reality is something else! As for the Sagrada Familia it truly is the most unique church I have ever seen. I do wonder what it will look like when it is finished but at the same time wonder IF it will ever be finished - having been in construction for well over a 100 years. Perhaps the scaffolding adds to the charm of the place?

More time was spent just exploring the streets and the food of Barcelona and it truly is a beautiful city. However, the city that really surprised me was the next one - Sevilla. The European cities I had visited before (Paris, Rome, Madrid, Istanbul, Barcelona, London) have been big touristy ones and well I always knew what to expect. With Sevilla I didn't. And it truly felt like I was transported back in time. Particularly the part of the town our hotel was in. Narrow cobblestoned streets, quaint restaurants and laidback smiling locals - it truly personified my romanticized version of Europe. We hardly did anything in Sevilla apart from visiting a couple of famous structures (the Alcazar and the cathedral) which were beautiful in themselves. But it was just walking around the city, sitting in cafes which I really loved. That to me is a true holiday. Experiencing it like it truly should be. And I don't think I'll ever forget those two days in Sevilla.

Or my week in Spain for that matter. Here's to my second visit there...and I hope there will be more to come!

The dilemma of a 2nd year business school student

I am sure every second year goes through this - to study or not to study. Do grades really matter? No, not really. But I am here to learn. So perhaps I do need to study. Why then doe motivation levels go so low sometimes. Why then does it feel like half the school is ready to check out mentally. Business school is a funny thing. You spend your first two quarters looking for an internship. Then the third quarter recovering from that stress. Then spend the first quarter of 2nd year looking for a job once more. And then using the last two quarters to do nothing with the excuse that this really is your last chance in life to do nothing.

Pray, when then do we really learn? Is learning just a by-product of being in business school?

Corny post alert!

Warning: This blog is not meant for the hard-hearted. It contains super cheesy romantic crap that most people cannot handle. So if cheesiness causes you nausea, please do not read any further.

Dont say I didnt warn you!

Quote from the last post:
While it isn't quite the 'he-looked-into-my-eyes-and-swept-me-off-my-feet', I never really expected that anyway (except during my 16 year old DDLJ fantasies!).

Perhaps I lied. Or perhaps I didnt know that the DDLJ fantasies were not all gone (Speaking of which DDLJ was watched with the aforementioned 'HE', albeit with subtitles!!). So Yes. Sweeping off the feet is complete. And here I am floating on cloud nine! Who knew he had it in him? Who knew any guy outside a Bollywood movie had it in them to say such amazing things that in a day I felt like the world had changed. I can see people reading this and wanting to either slap me or throw up...cause well if I was reading this somewhere else I'd probably want to do the same. But I dont care! MY BLOG! MY WORDS! MY WISH!

I mean yeah I have always been a complete romantic but I never thought I'd be talking like this!! Out in the public domain - when usually I think someone being all dramatic and declaring their feelings in public is all a bit of a show. Yes I am a hypocrite. But this isn't quite public is it? Ok fine. I agree. I'm a hypocrite. And an even bigger one at that cause I claim to hate hypocrites. Ah 'tis a vicious cycle!

So there's a hindi song I love:
Ek Din aap yoon humko mil jayenge, phool hi phool rahon mein khil jayenge, maine socha na tha. Ek din zindagi itni hogi haseen, jhoomega aasman gaayegi yeh zameen maine socha na tha.
Well it pretty much sums up how I feel right now!
I would have translated the song for HIS benefit...but well I dont know if it will come out quite right in English...or perhaps it's a challenge to find the translation :)

What more can I really say. Apart from thinking Wow. And going back to dreaming :)

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Random rantings...the quest to defeat writer's block

Well, I'm not really much of writer - more a blabberer but I suppose Blabberer's Block doesnt quite have the same effect. It feels like a long long time since I've written anything here - probably cause it has been. I can't decide if it was because I didnt know what to write about or there was so much in my head that I didn't know where to start.

A lot is happening. Changes in life. It feels like it's time to grow up and I'm not sure I'm quite ready yet. The idea that in 5 months school will be over is a sad thought. Two years and now I just have 5 months left. And the rate that time is going by those will be over before I know it. And then it is time to go into the grown up world. A world which I haven't been quite a part of yet. Sure I worked for a couple of years between college and b-school but even then I was comfortably at home in the protected bubble that my parents had made for me. And then I came into the bubble that is business school. Now to be away from all that is there to shield me from the world what is to happen now? What if I suddenly discover that I'm not quite ready to be an adult? Well I suppose I dont have to be one completely - no matter how much I grow up I think there will be one part of me that will continue to be a child. But the idea of taking care of everything on my own, not having my dear dad to take care of anything that I might screw up, having to think about everything myself and not having the safety net, taking care of myself and perhaps later taking care of someone else? Am I really ready?

And then there's more. The change that is happening now. That has been happening in the past few months. It is amazing how one person can make everything different. The way you look at life, the way you think about things, the way you think about yourself. I've met people, I've thought about relationships but sometimes someone makes it feel right. While it isn't quite the 'he-looked-into-my-eyes-and-swept-me-off-my-feet', I never really expected that anyway (except during my 16 year old DDLJ fantasies!). But a smile that offers you comfort, a voice that makes you feel warm. Isn't that what it's really about? Well I guess I don't know yet but I am happy.

At the same time it can be scary. Life is beautiful yet so full of challenges. Am I ready to face them? A relationship now means so much - commitment and yet a lot of responsibility too. Am I ready for that? I suddenly feel the need to grow up. I know I can do it but I know it'll take time. Will life and he have the patience to give me that time? There's so much to learn and so much to think of. It's overwhelming yet beautiful all at once. There is still a long way to go but something in me looks forward to that journey.

So I ask myself - is everything right? When subconsciously I included a third person (after my mum and dad) in my prayers a few days ago...I started to think - something must be right.