Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The best man I will ever know

A couple of weeks ago it was fathers day in the US, but I think it is on a different day in new zealand so I don't know when to wish my dad. But then, every day is fathers day because without my dad I would be nobody and I don't just mean that in the literal sense.

Last week I had a bit of a crisis and I think it was him worrying a lot more than I was. But then perhaps the reason I wasn't worrying was because I knew he was there and somehow he would magically make all the problems go away - and he did!

What can I say about him? At time we are such opposites that he drives me crazy with his views on what I should do. I fight with him like there's no tomorrow - and it happens that once in a while we are both so pigheaded that neither wants to see the other's point. Then I realize that maybe we aren't so different after all. And sometimes I just give in because I would rather do something that makes him happy than be stubborn.

Because ever since I can remember, he has done everything possible and more to make me happy. I don't actually remember ever asking him for something and not getting it - more often than not I have had it before I have even asked for it. I am yet to figure out how he knows.

At the end of the day he's just there. At the other end of the phone any time of day or night - whether it is for silly things like me being lost (yes I actually call long distance to find directions when I'm lost - that's how dependent I can be on him) or stressing about exams. He's always there. And I thank God every day for that.


At work today there was a picnic for all the employees' kids - not that I have any of my own but I thought to stop by the picnic where they had a person doing an animal show. I was amazed - not by the huge reptiles, though those were pretty incredible too - but by the questions children ask. Their sense of wonder at the world in all things we consider small and insignificant. The world is filled with things that we should all feel like that about, yet we pass them by everyday never stopping to look and wonder. It must be nice to be young enough and innocent enough to appreciate the little things. I so wish to be a child again so I can just live. So I can be innocent again. So I can see things the way I used to.

Where and how do we lose that innocence and our sense of wonderment towards the world? Does knowledge and experience get rid of that? Or is it the drudgery of everyday life? Here we are earning money, supposedly making the world a better place - being a doctor, an artist, a mother. But are we really enjoying the world the way we once did? And if not was all the knowledge and 'maturing' worth it?

On another note, watching kids makes me realize every time how much I love them. And how much I would one day like to have my own. Yet thinking about this already makes me scared of the day that they in turn lose their innocence and stop being children. I know it sounds silly but how will i live on that day?

Sunday, June 15, 2008


Not Khan but the movie. Definitely the best movie I've seen this year. I saw good reviews but thought it was one of those things that a lot of Indian reviewers do where as soon as a movie is even mildly 'different', everyone is applauding it whether it's a good movie or not. Reservation number 2 from me - Rajeev Khandelwal. Never liked his Balaji show, and thought his acting was just so cliched. And so many TV actors do inconsequential movies just to return to the small screen after failing.

But God I hope he doesn't fail. The man is brilliant here. Through the whole movie he says very little, yet you feel like you are inside him - going through everything he is going through - seeing the world through his eyes. And what a world. Mumbai as I never knew it was. The slums. The dirt. Everything feels so real you can almost touch it. The music and the sounds are still playing in my ears. Speaking of which you wouldn't think a movie like this leaves space for good music but another surprise - I'm downloading the songs right now.

At the end of the day I give all the credit to the director - rarely have I seen a hindi movie where I felt like I was experiencing what was on the screen - I was the protagonist and I was going through these bizarre events. Because I am not super human. I react like any normal human would. Yet perhaps in every normal human, there is the ability to be more.

I won't reveal beyond that...all I will say is watch the movie!!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Time flies and how

Lying in bed I just realized that it is my penultimate night in this room. It just seems like yesterday when I walked in (with uncle and aunt in tow to make sure i 'settled in' ok). I remember being a little worried, yet definitely excited. First time away from home - big moment, blah blah. How would I handle it? What would the people be like? Would I fit in?

And here I am - end of my first year - half an mba and about to step back into the real world, even if it is only for 10 weeks. Am I ready for it though? Yes and no. Actually, more no than yes. While it will be interesting to be out there working and fun to not have tests and assignments to worry about, I don't know if I want to leave yet.

The place that I was so unsure about just 9 months ago now feels like home. So I wonder - if I'm homesick while away on my internship would i be missing my actual home or this place here?

Friday, June 06, 2008

More advertising

Putting in a plug for a friend's site

i've always loved indian adverts

there's some awesome one's from the past here...definitely makes you nostalgic :)

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

My life the musical

I'm not a big fan of blog tags but this one from Amrit was too interesting to pass up...if my life was a musical what would the songs here goes nothing

a lot of them probably don't fit but went with what i could think of... :)

Opening credits: Barso re Megha - Guru (sorry i had to be a little narcissistic here!)

Waking up: Beautiful day - U2

Average day: Jeene ke ishaare - Phir Milenge

First date: Aaj mausam beimaan hai - Loafer

Falling in love: When you say nothing at all - Ronan Keating/ Aaj jaane ki zid na karo - Farida Khanum

Love Scene: Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge / Everything I do - Bryan Adams

Fight Scene: We will rock you - Queen

Breaking up: Chalte Chalte - Chalte Chalte

Getting back together: Build me up Buttercup - The Foundations/ Mitwa - Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

Secret love: Pyar Hua Chup ke se - 1942 A Love Story

Life’s ok: Aashayein - Iqbal

Mental Breakdown: Itni shakti hamein dena - Ankush/ Maula - Chak de India

Driving: I'm a believer - Smashmouth/Hotel California - The Eagles

Learning a lesson: Haan Yehi Rasta Hai - Lakshya

Flashback: Linger - The cranberries/ Jab Koi Baat Bigad jaaye - Jurm

Partying: Say na Say na - Bluffmaster/ Namak - Omkara

Happy Dance: Mucho Mambo (sway) - Shaft

Regretting: Drive - Bic Runga

Long night alone: Its all coming back to me now - Celine Dion/Tadap Tadap - Hum Dil De Chuke

Death Scene: Rote Hue aate hain sab - Muqaddar ka Sikandar

Closing Credits: Livin on a prayer - Bon Jovi

Monday, June 02, 2008

Dear God

Do I have to give up on worldly pleasures to be one with you? Because I so want to be. Yet I'm not sure I am ready to not care about material things. Why is it that every spiritual guide tells me I must disconnect with myself and everything around me to find you. If you are everywhere why don't I see you like the more learned ones claim they do. I believe I see you, in my heart, in my conscience. Yet should I do more? Should I wait for you to reveal yourself to me in some form the way you have to those who have persevered in their pursuit of you and given up all that is dear to them? And if I must not care about the world to find the eternal truth and you, why did you create the world around me to tempt to be a part of it?

More Istanbul...

More of the magical City

The Hagia Sophia

The Blue Mosque

Bridge separating Europe and Asia...and that beautiful water I couldn't get over

There's that mix of amazing architecture against the backdrop of water that I so fell in love with

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Europe to Asia all in a day - Istanbul

What a gorgeous city! I wish I could have stayed longer. I even momentarily considered moving there - when I saw some of the most beautiful houses I've ever seen in my life - only to realize that even if I did I'd never be able to afford them. Unless I find me a rich :)

But seriously, there was something about Istanbul. There are two things I love on holiday - to be in or near water, and to see a part of history. And here there was both. The Hagia Sophia and the blue mosque had amazing art and architecture. And oh the history! A building that has been around for centuries or millenniums stand in there and read about everything the building has gone through right from the 4th century. To think about everyone who has probably stood on the same spot that you are!

My highlight of the trip however was the Basilica Cistern (photo here). Entirely underground, with water and beautifully lit. There was a peaceful yet eerie feeling all at once. Definitely one of the most memorable buildings I've seen in my life.

And then there was the water. Blue. Clear. Pristine. I must have been a fish (or a mermaid perhaps! ;) ) in a previous life the way i get excited every time I see water. We caught a ferry that took us in the Bosphorus channel that separates the European and the Asian sides of Istanbul (which I thought was pretty cool in itself) - and it was during this that I saw those houses overlooking the channel...*sigh*. See it is something to do with the water. I'm sure that mermaid theory is true!

And the two guilty pleasures of Istanbul - the food and the jewelery! The amount we ate in two days was probably what I eat in a week. And the jewelery - if only I had the money, I'd have bought it all!! If I start talking any more about them, I will start craving I'll stop now :)