Monday, June 19, 2006

To live..or not to live

To carry on with the depressing talk, as may be obvious, I did not have a very good day today. It truly was one of those days when you really do question whether life is worth living. I'm sure nearly everyone has had at least one moment in their life where for a fleeting moment they thought it would be better to die than to live. But for most, such moments pass and you always find a solution, or at least you realise that things aren't that bad. Which brings me to something I heard about the other day. Apparently a few weeks ago a 17 year old boy jumped off a 3-storey building not far from where I live. What a scary thought! 17 years old wanting to end his life. Could things really be that bad? I dont know what went on in that boy's life but what makes a person take such a big step. And what makes the rest of us not actually do it during those brief moments we want to.

I know that for me there are four reasons. The first being simply that I dont think I have the courage to do it. Second, a genuine curiosity about how my life will turn out to be, and whether i will finally find out why I am here. Third, my immense faith in God and my belief that He knows what is best for me. It is He who has given me life and only He has the power to take it away. Whatever is happening in my life, good or bad, has a bigger meaning and I am just too small to understand this meaning, thus I choose to blindly trust God and the path that he has chosen for me. But the biggest reason that I would never ever take that step is my parents. How could I possibly put them through that? I believe that a family can get over any type of death with time, but never suicide. Don't people think about this before they decide to end their life. If they have a problem, how is it the fault of their family. Is it really fair to pile so much guilt on to the people who love you the most?

I know I mustn't be judgemental and perhaps people who commit suicide really do have problems. Problems much much bigger than what I can even think about. But can life really be that bad? I dont know. Perhaps it can. All I can say is I hope I never feel that way. Moments are fine, but in the end I do believe that life is worth living. The world is an amazing place...there is good and there is bad...but sometimes we must close our eyes to the negativity and try to feel the beauty that God has created for us. How can we insult Him by shunning what He has made?

2 comments:

Amrita said...

I somehow feel that it is always 'To live' rather than not to, altho as you say..... wonder what could drive so young a person to such drastic measures...

Anonymous said...

Actually... from the perspective of somebody who has tried to... not once but twice... (I wish to remain anonymous... though meghz knows who this is!), I will only say that sometime... it is a split second decision. it is not something that you plan to do...
at that time, it feels like a good... if not great idea...

You feel that to end it all would probably be the best thing that you could do... for everybody around you and associated with you...

You feel that there is no reason to be a burden on to others... the guilt that you are talking about is I think non-existent... coz I know for a fact that if you are alive, then the people associated with you are more guilty than when you are gone...

sometimes you feel that to die is a better thing to do... than to live... But then... the youngsters of today think that flunking their exams are much more serious... and take their lives for such flimsy reasons... there are some things that you can change in life... (like studies... you flunk in one paper, you can either change your major or retake the exam...) but there are some decisions in life that you cannot take at all... coz there are too many people associated with the decision that you take... making it impossible for you to take a decision that will be kind of positive for you.