Thursday, April 12, 2007

Decisions can be stressful

A while ago someone I knew who was going through a phase where they couldn’t decide between two paths that life had put in front of them. They were both amazing opportunities and I couldn’t understand why it would be so difficult because either way, you win. Now I understand. Sometimes, choosing between two great options can be the hardest thing to do. The past few days I've been stressing over two absolutely amazing schools, either of which I would have accepted in a flash. But what do I do now? Its so funny. A few months ago if someone had told me I would be worrying about this, I would have laughed in their face. But when you start to think about which is better it can be scary. Someone says A will be good for me, and another says B will be good for me. And these are all people whose opinions I trust and value. I know what I wanted. I know where my heart lies. But here I am being given a 100 reasons why something else is better.

Which makes me wonder...Do I really know what's good for me? Do I know more than all these other people with more experience and knowledge? Cant say how worried I have been inside (though I've managed to maintain a fairly calm exterior). Wondering whether I should trust my own judgement. And my gut feel. Was I being too sentimental? Was I not taking more important issues into consideration? Started to wonder about my reasons for picking what I did in the first place. The idea of turning down the other school was tearing me, but how would I feel if I had to turn down the first place? Definitely worse! That I know. But still…why were all these people telling me that the other option was better for me. There has to be some truth.

But then, I read a quote somewhere that there are no bad decisions except those that are influenced by others. Perhaps that was a sign of some sort? And so it is. I have decided to follow my heart and my instinct. And I hope and pray that it is the right decision for me. Actually no. I believe it is. Because I have decided to believe in myself!

As an aside…someone told me today, that I've decided to take on a very demanding a very competitive school…and maybe this was a little preview into the next 2 years of my life! :)


Vik said...

it doesn't really matter which school. within the top 10, i think they're all more or less the same. you'll have a great place, new friends, new culture. but will be extremely hard work as well. so live up the next few months!!

woorkeri wittynathan said...

Cloud - Just recently I had made a post titled 'Decisions decisions..'. I recommend taking a gander at it.

Btw, congratulations on the two schools. Are you a b-school bound?

My two cents:
Each path has happiness and success associated with it. At the end of the day, we all want to optimize the 'level' of happiness/success that we can achieve.

Best wishes!