B-school is such a roller coaster

There are times when I wonder why I am even here - especially now! Could there be a worse time to be graduating from business school when all anyone ever seems to talk about is the market going down. Companies aren't hiring as much, everyone from the finance world seems to be everywhere else and just in general noone knows what's going on. I even considered the possibility of doing another degree just to get through this wave. Anyway i guess my bank can't really handle that.

But then at the same time I go to classes with such amazing professors that it seems to make up for it. This is the first quarter that I love every class I am in and everytime I'm in the class (particularly in Intl Finance) I wonder how I am so fortunate to be listening to these people!

I do love business school and every aspect of it. The people, the classes, the activities. It's just recruiting that I dont get. Why does it have to be so early. I feel particularly bad for the first years who just got here and already need to figure out what they want to do with their life. The part about experimenting during your internship I'm not so sure about - I did that and look at me - here I am having to go through this process once again. Perhaps it would have been easier if I had taken up something that I knew would convert into a full time thing. But then there is no point having regrets so I shall not.

The thing I hate most about recruiting is what it does to the atmosphere of the place - people seem quieter, there seems to always be something on their minds (and I am guilty of this too - someone just asked me the other day if there's always a lot on my mind because i look lost all the time!!). And it's scary cause last year I saw people in a way that I hadn't before - apparently parts of their personality were well hidden during normal times but came out in full force once recruiting started. Thus I've decided to keep away from school as much as possible - apart from the classes and meetings I just like to be home and it is so much more peaceful.

It has helped in the last few days to have my mum here so it at least puts things in perspective for me. I remain calm because after spending time with my mum I realize that it's not the end of the world if I don't get THE job. I have a lot better things in life to care about. Hopefully I can maintain that attitude once she's gone later this week.