Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I feel a change in the air...

Big days coming up next week (no no i'm not getting married or anything like that) - all the interviews lined up including a couple that I have my heart set on. I just hope I dont take either of them for granted and also with the possibility that it doesnt go well and I dont get through I dont end up too disappointed. Either way in a few days all will be clear

So technically I should be stressing out but I suddenly feel very calm. Like nothing could really get to me. Strange cause just 2 days ago I was so agitated and easily irritated at the smallest of things (not to mention a couple of people that totally annoyed me). Throw a couple of other disappointments in there. And technically I expected to be ready to explode sometime this week.

But nope. Here I am not really worried about anything. Things will happen as they have to. I will get a job at some point. And since I know there is someone out there watching over me I will get the one that is right to me (and perhaps I just don't know what is right for me). How could I not believe this after what happened in the summer. The job I ended up getting (and accepting) was great no doubt and gave me really interesting experience. But the main thing that it lead to was invaluable. The job took me on a week's trip to India. Where I met my grandfather. Just 1 week before he was admitted to the hospital. And 3 weeks before he passed away. I saw him one last time while he was still healthy and that to me was more than a coincidence. Everytime I think of this my faith that everything happens for a reason gets reaffirmed. How do you put a value on seeing your grandfather one last time? And there is no way that would have happened had I not taken that job. Sometimes it really is best to wait for the reason to happen when you can't understand life.

I still can't believe he is gone. Though I try to think of him only through my happy memories from childhood. He was an amazing man and I have such great memories of him. Of him pushing me into the deep end of the pool practically when I refused to learn to swim - and him being the reason I now am obsessed with water and swimming! Of him bringing home some goodies or the other every time he went to the 'club' with his friends. Of him telling all his friends proudly about how well his granddaughter studies!! I don't want to get sad thinking of him cause he led a full life and he was someone who liked to make the people around him smile so I don't think he would want me to be sad about him. I only pray for my grandma.

But anyway sadness and my tata were not meant to be the topic of this post.

I really do feel a change about me. Things I was getting stressed about are starting to stress me less - the finding of a job and the pressure from family regarding guys (particularly when other people call my parents recommending guys to introduce me to). I know both will sort themselves out as best as they can. I can only try my best and leave the rest to God. I'm talking about finding a job here! As for the guy thing a close friend recently got engaged (and met her better half through the parental-set-up process) and she seems so happy. Plus talking to her made me feel better cause i realized i wasn't the only one who goes through these emotions of being scared, getting disappointed, not knowing what I want through the whole process. But she said meeting THE guy made her not so scared anymore. And she knew it was right. So perhaps I too will know when it is right.

Either way a change is definitely in the air. And I am happy

I hope I remain that way through the next few weeks of the job hunt...and then beyond! :)


Amrita said...

Lovely post Megz, sorry about your grandfather - you have given him a reason to be proud!
It's good to know that you are not stressed out about things - life will pan out as it is meant to.
Remember your friends are always there for you. Call us!!! :-D

Ashanka said...

Sorry about grandfather.

I like your attutude though. I believe it was john lennon who said, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" I too feel that, to let life take its course and not stress too much

Anansi said...

Love your blog! It's so refreshingly honest. All the best with everything..