Yet another mood...

I'm feeling a little disillusioned...I've started to have this feeling over the past year or so that so many people aren't what you think they are. People I grew up with started to change and have entirely different personalities - but then I guess that was it - they grew up. But even people I meet now - I think something of them for the first few times I see them - and it turns out that my perception of them was completely off. I've been told in the past that I look at life very idealistically - I live with a conviction that 99% of people in this world have no ulterior motive and are just good people. I'm not questioning that they are still good people - but I'm starting to wonder about how much of their real self is evident to the world.

I am such an open book - to the extent that I constantly curse myself for it - everyone always knows what I'm thinking and how I feel. Though I know thats not the way to be - wouldnt the world be a simpler place if people were just themselves all the time. That they didnt feel the need to pretend - good or bad - just be yourself...Life would be so much easier - at least for an idiot like me..because seriously, I'm starting to realise more and more what a weakness my total lack of judgement of people is. Its not that I need to know exactly how someone is all the time - but when I like someone, be it as a friend or more, for traits that I saw in them, and they later start to behave in a total different (and sometimes on the border of weird) way - it hurts - and I start to wonder about the world, about myself, about my view of the world, and about my place in it. And it can be disturbing.

Can too much optimism be a bad thing?

Maybe its just a mood I'm in...because I'm the first one telling everyone to stay positive all the time. But sometimes it can hurt...Sometimes maybe I'm a little too optimistic and hope for too much - and when it doesnt it crushes you more than if say I had been neutral about the whole thing. Is it wrong to hope for the best - well hoping shouldnt really kill you - have I taken optimism too far where I'm going beyond hoping to expecting something to happen. I dont even know what I'm talking about. As I said maybe its just momentary thing - a change of mood - and I'll get up in the morning my usual self.

I mean I like being optimistic about things - i truly believe that umeed pe duniya kaayam hai (the world lives on hope) - but hope can hurt sometimes. There are things I have hoped very hard for in the past that didn't happen - and when they didn't I almost felt cheated, while I shouldnt have - because there had never been any guarantee anyway.

The worst thing is even when my mind knows that something isn't going to happen the way I want it to - there is a part of me just waiting for the circumstances to change - till I FINALLY get it (often too late)...I mean what's the bloody point of being optimistic if it leads to a person getting hurt?

I dont want to think like this though - I like being happy and positive about things...oh i dont know! I'm sure I'll go back to that tomorrow morning - its too much effort to not be positive...but sometimes I get so annoyed at myself. I really need to find the fine line between hoping and expecting - I think I've crossed it too many times...but HOW??!! I am the way I am - how do I change?

Once again life ends up too confusing for me...

Corporate Responsibility or Social Responsibility? - The socially responsible dreamer vs the wannabe corporate so-n-so :)

A conversation online with a friend about Corporates...two different perspectives (and in the end i dont think either of us managed to sway the other even 10%)...thought it was interesting enough to be logged...

Sam:did u watch Corporation...

m: whats that?

Sam: it's a docuementary about "Corporations"

m: about how they're evil?
:)

Sam: most of my friends who have been to B school watch it as a part of their course'
well what else are they good for
watch it and gimme ur opinion, am sure u`ll either like it or call it a hate propoganda, of some cynical losers

m: hmm i'll watch it for sure
i'm kind of sick of the corporations are evil type propoganda
i mean i agree they do a bunch of not-so-great things
but at the end of the day they are creating the economy

Sam: well u gotta realise they are..it's like saying am sick of people talking of Global Warming

m: its very easy to say get rid of all the big corporations - but what would u do then?

Sam: yeah but at what cost and whose pockets does this "Economy fill"
am sure civilisations did exist before them and society does figure a way of sustainable survival...

m: i think everything has a place in this world and sometimes its easy to just put yourself in a little bubble and make judgements about everything else
i'm not trying to be biased here - but sometimes it does get a bit much

Sam: and everything that has a place needs to exist with a social responsibility...

m: pepole find it easy to blame big companies for random things just because

Sam: well if it takes for one to scream at the top of the voice, to be audible, I wld do it...

m: http://on-cloud-nine.blogspot.com/2007/05/corporates-big-bad-wolf.html
see i agree that ethically unsound things do happen - and i dont agree with them - but its easy to get caught up in the blaming business
read that piece and tell me what u think
stuff like that makes me really mad

Sam: well and also watch the film and als watch Roger and Me and we cld talk it ...lemme read it now

Sam: well this is smart article trying to genralise an issue with one specific event...and there are many grey areas that cld be argued in those 200+ words...

m: i'm not generalising here
just talking about the specific incident
only put it here to give u an example of how blaming corporations can go too far at points
when that incident happened i was pretty damn angry at ppl's reactions

Sam: yeah, so there is an ambiguity wether the power company was informed or not abt the situation at home

m: its so easy to blame the power company though

Sam: yes it it, coz thtz always been a Socialist mindset

m: firstly if it was such an issue i really think they hsould have paid the bill after the warnings - new zealand is one country where ppl have NO excuse for not having enough to meet ends - because the govt provides income support indefinitely
its a totally socialist mindset
and yet these people didn't pay the bill
when they are saying the power was needed for her to stay alive (which it was later said she didnt - she only needed the machine occasionally)

Sam: yes but does the company see profit generation as a bigger motive than social responsibility

m: also when then power went off she had her 2 adult chlidren at home who could have easily either taken her next door or caleld the hospital
what happened to personal responsibility
i believe in taking personal responsibility rather than relying on social responsibility

Sam: yeah, the family is equally at fault..

m: at the end the power company couldnt be bothered dealing with the situation in court and compensated the family who then happily went away with their money
what does that say?
why is it the company's responsibility
they are providing a service and of course they should expect to be paid for that service
see i do believe in social responsibility
but i dont think it should supercede personal responsibility
sometimes with all the emphasis on social responsibility people forget that they need to help themselves too
living in new zealand you get totally frustrated - there are generations of people who dont work and are living off the government
why should i be paying taxes for people to sit on their asses all day?
the indians go one step ahead
they get compensation from the govt and then do cash jobs for which they dont declare income
one of our family friends worked at the income support office investigating income support fraud - and something like 80% were indians
it depressed him so much he quit his job
anyway that is beside the point
but those people who refuse to work because they are getitng money from the govt anyway - where is their sense of responsibility
why is it that social responsibility is made to be the business of corporates or those working in corporates

Sam: well sadly personal or moral responsibility is not even legally recognised to be an obligation, but a company to be in businees I feel should have a social responsiblity preceeding it's income generation

m: sorry i'm ranting a bit - i'll shut up

Sam: no..it's intresting..look at Monsanto did in S Americ and Vietnam..do u think it had any social responsibility

m: i agree that a company should have social responsibility but i dont think it is viable to expect that to be more than income generation
i should just paste this whole conversation in my blog :)

Sam: well then society should make sure they patronise companies they value socail ethics and pay only for those services...

m: thats personal choice

Sam: sure..and I`ll write back with my comments

m: you can't expect that of people

Sam: for sure, for a dreamer like me I will...expect that of people, nations and corporations
sure...

m: hope you dont think i'm an evil corporate b*tch now

Just a thought

Is doing things on an impulse good? I always remind myself thats its probably not the best plan of action - but why do I do it anyway? I must be crazy. Always doing and saying things without thinking twice and then a couple of hours later wonder - what in the lord's name was I thinking?! But then everyone says follow your heart - dont use your head too much - blah blah blah. What am I supposed to do? Listen to my heart or just use rational thought? I am so ruled by the heart its not funny - but maybe I should start thinking a little too? Life is confusing on so many different levels.

Its a sad sad day

I hope I wake up and find that the last hour and a half was a dream. It just didnt happen. The All Blacks just didnt lose to France - again! The dream shattered again for the next four years. How could it be? This was supposed to be it. This was supposed to be the year that it happened. I dont even know what to say. I would be crying except I think I'm still in denial and hoping I will wake up. I'm lost for words

Thinking about options

The one strange thing about business school is that while a lot of people still seem confused about what they want to do when they leave this place, they are expected to make fairly significant decisions within a month of starting. What sort of jobs do I want to recruit for, for my internship? Thats the burning question at the moment. And to be honest I have no idea. One part of me is ok with that because after all its just an internship right? But on the flip side of that is the number of second years I see who are just accepting offers from the companies they did their internship in, or are at least sticking to the function/industry. Does that mean I should know too?

I hope not! And I hope I can use my internship as a complete experiment. Thats my thought at the moment. What am I thinking of specifically? Well there's a side of me that has for the past couple of years had a burning desire to go and work in india (and yes, cheesy as it may sound, the movie Swades did have just a little to do with it). But seriously, the opportunities there are completely limitless. And I see it as a market that I can create my own place in. Everything is growing and the potential is just amazing. The big question behind that however is will I like working and living there? I absolutely love india, dont get me wrong but I left it when I was a child - and I'm sure working there is a whole another deal from going on a holiday. But then the internship is the perfect time to test this right? And also to explore what sort of roles I could have in the industry that I like.

The only thing I am scared of is getting caught up in the big recruitment drive when everyone else is doing it. I mean I know I will still try for internship placements at a select few companies here, but my heart really lies in wanting to go back to where my roots are. But then there's the thing that I dont know what sort of internship I could get in india - so thats something else I need to look into. And its scary to have to go about this alone - the easier option is just to go for a big company that's on campus ready to take me isn't it? Also, the idea of taking up a good internship and doing well in it and taking up an offer from the same company (thus avoiding a stressful recruitment period next year) sounds so tempting!

Lets just hope I dont get lazy, and I follow my heart back home :)

And life goes on

So I've had my first 10 days of real classes - and it has been bloody real. I cant believe I'm actually living out of an outlook calendar, to the extent that I've blocked out bits to go to the gym (the fact that I didnt get my ass in the gym is a whole another deal of course). I'm tired, I'm sleepy, I have no idea what my next task is - and yet I just feel like hanging out with people. So yes folks I'm at business school. I cant really complain cuz I am having a good time, and hopefully things will settle a little in the next week or so - there's just too much kicking off going on at the moment - every single club seems to be having one of those and I'm totally kickoff-ed out! Why do I go to all those things then? Apparently I have a case of FOMO - fear of missing out - but I do know people who have it a lot worse - so *shrug* cant complain.

Think I'm finally figuring out what I might want to do - actually no - but at least I do know a few things that I dont want to do - so I suppose thats a start. Everything's such a mixed bag though. If there's one thing I have learnt in these first few days - its to take everything with a pinch of salt. Whatever it is - professional choices, social activities, clubs - I have heard a whole range of reactions to every single thing. So in the end I guess I just have to experience it and find out myself. But how the hell am I supposed to experience SO many things?! But if I dont, what if i miss out?

Anyway enough complaining! I am having a good time here - meeting some really nice people - and learning so much its incredible. So I really shouldnt complain. I chose to come here - and I dont regret that choice. Actually no. I do have one last complaint. This place is too filled with married or committed guys - what happened to all the single ones? What was the point of coming here again? hehe! :)

Oh to be a student again!

Here I am on the eve of my first exam at Bschool - happily finding every excuse I can to avoid doing any real work - my current one being - my blog REALLY needs to be updated!

Anyway let's just ignore the exam for now - cause apart from that I've loved every minute of being here. I'm so so glad I made this choice. I do realise that work will get a lot harder and a lot more stressful - considering I'm only doing one paper now and I already feel like I'm doing too much work (isn't being back here about fun?) - I'm not sure how it will be once I have my full courseload. Oh well - will see when it happens.

Its amazing however how quickly I've made friends here. Met some great people - and thankfully have an awesome roommate. Every day after class there ends up being a gathering of people talking about absolutely nothing and absolutely everything - its crazy to be able to open up so much to people who were strangers just 3 weeks ago - wow! three weeks! that sounds like nothing at all. Funnily enough, while these three weeks have gone at jet speed, it also feels like I've been here forever and known these people for ever! Can you believe me, my roommate and another friend were trying out clothes for an upcoming formal at 1 in the morning when we really should have been studying for the exam? Now thats friendship! :)

So what have I learnt from being here so far. Well my first lesson was the world is a bloody small place. In these three weeks these are the connections I have found to people here - two people I met here when to primary school with two of my closest friends in India and Africa. My roommate knows someone who is in business school with a friend of mine. And the strangest thing of all - someone whose blog I used to visit (and who commented on mine a couple of times) is now in business school with me and lives just two floors above. And I thought the world was made of 6 billion people. I guess there's a LOT of truth in the whole six degrees of seperation. And I used to think it only happened in new zealand! :)

More lessons from business school - I reallllly need to get my head around what exactly it is I want to do with my life. People here seem so focused - Investment banking, consulting, private equity blah blah - i barely even know what these things are. What to do what to do. I'm just a poor confused child who came here cause I didnt want to work any more (well for two years anyway!). No but seriously, it can be a little intimidating. Of course not as intimidating as hearing some of the amazing achievements of my classmates in their lives before bschool. I so dont fit in here - and I'm not even sure how I got in. I'm grateful for sure - but also dead scared.

So many smart people - and then there's me. I guess thats a reminder to myself that I really should go do some study. So thats that then. Back to the books...

Aaaaaaaaah!!!

So much to do...too much to do.
Is this orientation or some kind of circus...all these events everywhere.
And though they might be fun, I dont know how much more I can take - and its still only the second day!!!
I want to stay homeeeeeeee.......!!!
Oh well - back to yet another session of trying to get to know even more people....too much effort right now!

In a new place...at the start of a new life...

Ok so there hasn't been a single post in here for over 2 months - and its not like it has been a particularly busy two months. Rather the most free two months i can ever remember :)
I think I became a bit of a lazy ass and couldnt be bothered doing much apart from vegetate on the couch (which probably explain the bit of weight I have put on in that period...lol!)

So what have I been doing in these two months. Pretty much was a transition period between what was and what will be. I quit work (which was a lot harder than I thought - funny that till 2 weeks before leaving I was counting down the days, but in the last two weeks I just didnt want to go. I still miss work - well not the actual work but my workmates with who I probably spent more hours laughing and chatting rather than working!). After that I was pretty much home all through - I figured its unlikely I will get an opportunity to be a total bum for a long long time (if ever) so might as well make full use of it. Between that however I spent one of the best weekends ever with five of my closest friends in Australia (made me realise that while we may move on there are some friends who just get you - and without whom you probably wouldnt be the person you are today. I miss those friends like crazy now).

Anyway so enough talk about missing (especially since the title of this post in 'a new place')!!

So here I am - away from my lovely new zealand - in the 'big bad' US of A. So I've been here about 3 weeks now - and its not quite as 'bad' as I might have thought - though the big certainly applies - everything is huuuuge - houses, roads, cars, portion sizes in restaurants! Boston was lovely - New York (what i saw of it) was just big and mad (in a good way..hehe) - and here I am now in chicago - my home for at least the next two years.

My first impression of chicago - i loved it! Lived downtown the first night - walked around the lake - there were fireworks, there was live music - it was all brilliant - put me in a great mood...and I'm so happy I made this decision. As for the campus - i have only one thing to say - there's a beach!! well sorta...hehe...but that just made my day! :)

Moved into my new place a day or so ago - so just been struggling with suitcases and boxes. My first venture into doing things for myself...hehe...no mommy around to help anymore!! Mind you I had loads of help from my uncle and aunt who have just been amazing - dont know how I would have survived this move without them (and my two adorable cousins too!).

Anyway so here I am...all's good so far...unpacking is a major pain but I think i'll survive! Just never knew you needed so much stuff to set up a place. Think i'd started taking life for granted a little bit!! Met a few people around campus already - and everyone's been so nice - looking forward to starting the degree for sure. But the other thing is - everyone seems bloody smart - I feel like a bit of a misfit and am totally freaked out about how I will cope. Oh well...we'll have to see I guess.

I was a pretty nervous about this move - but things have started to fall in place - and I think i'll be ok. Now I just have a few things to worry about - lose this extra weight from my 2 vegetating months, get used to non metric values (they're soooo illogical) and the biggest problem of them all - try not to get run over while crossing the road - why do the americans have to do everything differently anyway?? :)

The All Blacks are people too!

Why is it being made into such a big deal that two of the All Blacks have decided not to play a test because they want to be with their respective wives while they are giving birth? I’ve been listening to people on the radio talk about them being irresponsible and not taking their job seriously. But isn’t that the point – I know that they represent the country and everyone is proud of them – but to them being an All Black is also a job. What gives us the right to tell them they are not allowed to take time off from that job to honour personal commitments? Just because he plays for our country does not mean he can’t have a life of his own right?

Yesterday I heard a radio talk show host talking about how this is all just another part of the PC-driven world where men are psychologically forced to do this. Excuse me? Noone says a man must be present during the birth of his child – but what is this crap about it being PC. What if the man wants to be a part of it? What if he wants to be with his partner during that time? To me I think these men are setting great examples, and I quite admire them. By putting their wife and the birth of their child ahead of everything else. And to show that it does not make you less of a man to be with your wife when she is giving birth to your child. So who are we to judge him wrong?

So what is politics anyway?

The other day on the radio I heard a snippet from someone who I thought was from the opposition party commenting on a new change that the government had made. It was a fairly objective view with the person talking about the benefits the change could bring about while putting across what he thought were the loopholes. Through the whole interview I had a niggling feeling that something seemed wrong. And then it clicked – it was objective – which I’ve NEVER heard a politician be. And then I realised that in fact he was not a spokesman for the opposition but from a not-for-profit organisation (he was ‘national secretary’ for something – and I just heard the ‘National’ and assumed he was from the National party). So yeah – the record on politicians (from what I’ve heard so far) still stands.

But seriously, doesn’t it sometimes feel that all politics consists of is finding fault in your opposition rather than come up with genuine changes for the good of the country/city. I just looked up dictionary.com for their definition of the word politics – apparently its “The art of science of government or governing” – which makes perfect sense. Except we now use the word politics to describe playing dirty. Again from dictionary.com (yes it truly is the digital age, with me quoting the website rather than Webster’s!) – “Play politics - to deal with people in an opportunistic, manipulative, or devious way”. Isn’t that hilarious. A word that was born to describe governing is now used as a synonym for being opportunistic.

So when did that happen? Or has it always been that way? Is there absolutely anything that could be done to change it. I wish I had the answer, but I don’t. I’m not trying to criticize any particular person or party but just politics as a whole. If all politicians spend their entire time analyzing what the others did wrong, when will they do their real job – govern the country?

Corporates - the big bad wolf?

Yesterday a woman died because she was on a breathing machine when the electricity at her home was cut off due to the bill not being paid. Now everyone is placing blame on the power company and the contractor of course. The company says that they were not aware of the facts. What if the power company is right when they say they didn’t know that there was a life threatening situation…cuz if they were aware…I’m sure it wouldn’t have gone that far, would it? The family says that the company is lying, and people all around the place are calling for people to be fired and what not.

There was a mistake made here without doubt. And it is something that has to be investigated. But isn’t it sad that when something happens and it is a case of common man vs big corporate, the corporate is always shown to be the bad guy? Is that always true though? I mean even a corporate is made of humans. If the contractor had been made aware of the fact that cutting power could lead to health problems, wouldn’t he have taken that into consideration?

Plus, when a home’s power is about to be cut, wouldn’t the family have gotten a few letters saying their power would be cut if there was no payment made. And if this is true, wouldn’t there have been ways the family could have made a plea stating the circumstances? Also, according to reports the woman died a few hours after the electricity in her home was cut. Why then wasn’t an ambulance called when the machine turned off and she was having trouble breathing? The question that pops into my mind is what the if the electricity had been accidentally turned off – due to a faulty wire perhaps. Would they still blame the company? Actually they probably would.

I might be sounding a little cruel here…and I agree that it was a tragedy. And in the end it could get proven that the company in fact did know of the situation and yet acted as they did. But why are people just assuming that the company must be to blame even before anything has been investigated? Is that really fair?

Does true love exist?

Yes I know there are a lot of happy couples out there that believe that they are truly in love. I am not trying to be cynical here at all. In fact I believe in love completely. But of late I have started to question whether what we believe is love is the true definition of love. But then, I suppose love is defined however we wish to define it.

So what is true love to me then? I thought I knew but as I grow up I'm not quite sure any more. And if I'm not even sure of what it is, how will I ever find it? But to find it - it has to exist right? Which brings me back to my original question.

What am I trying to say here? To be completely honest I'm not sure. Just that I wonder if what some people say - that someone out there was made for you - and that person is your soulmate - your one true love. And when you meet that person, you will somehow know. Really? But what if I dont meet that 'one'? Destiny you say? Ok so my destiny takes me to him and I happen to sit next to him on the bus. What next? How am I supposed to know?

The thing is I was never a big believer in destiny. I used to think that we make our own future and we can do what is right for us. But then something happened to change that thought. Something that made me realise that I'm not quite as powerful as I thought, and somethings are actually beyond my control, and no matter how much I try to change something, if it wasn't meant to be, it wont be. That's what the whole concept of destiny is right? Hence maybe I'm starting to believe in destiny.

And because of that my idea of love is starting to change too. Love to me was always an extension of friendship. That you meet someone and become such close friends that the idea of spending your life with them sounds like the most beautiful future you could think of. That you make a relationship happen, you make that commitment, and you take that risk even when things are against you. But what if I'm wrong? What if the whole destiny thing is correct and one day I will run into that 'one' that is my perfect other half (not that I believe in perfection in relationships...my favourite quote about relationships happens to be "A great marriage is not when "perfect couple" come together. It is when an imperfect couple learn to enjoy their differences"). What I mean is what if there is someone out these in the world who I am meant to be with?

And if there is, I want to find that person. I guess that goes against the whole destiny thing. So I'm contradicting myself. But it might be because I dont quite want to let go of my whole 'I make my own future' thing. Anyway, I have started to mumble and blabber...and havent really made much sense.

Anyway, while my practical side tells me to stop being a silly dreamer, a small part of me does hope that the romantic notion of 'the one' is in fact true - and that all my life will lead to that one moment when I find that person and know that he is it. :)

Just one line

Read a quote that I had to put in here...sums up everything about having faith so nicely to me:

"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous"

Could anything be scarier?

I used to wonder about the whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing. I used to think isn't it more important to put a criminal behind bars. But then I think about the David Bain case. Of course I dont know if he is in fact guilty or not. But what if he isn't? Thirteen years ago his entire family was killed. And at the age of 22 he was charged with the five murders and sentenced to life. Now, all these years later a court has said that the investigation carried out wasn't just and that may mean that he was innocent after all. Imagine that. A 22 year old man spends 13 prime years of his life in prison when he did nothing at all.

I recently saw a news program about a group in the US who is working on proving innocent some people who were wrongly convincted. There were men who had gone to prison in their twenties and finally got out in their fourties. And they get some measly compensation. How can you put a price on twenty years of a person's life? Some of the men talked about how they feel they may never be able to lead a normal life - they have no partner, no children, no career. Where do they even start?

Maybe there is a lot of truth in the 'innocent until proven guilty concept'. Because it sure is worse to put an innocent man in jail than let a guilty man go free. I just cant see it any other way. What if it was you or me? Imagine that. Being in prison for all those years knowing the whole time that you did nothing.

The very thought gives me goosebumps.

Big Brother is here

The so-called "anti-smacking bill" just got passed through parliament. Apparently now parents are no longer allowed to use any sort of physical force towards their child in order to discipline or correct them. I am all for not hitting children, but isn't this taking it a bit too far? I mean I can remember only 2 times in my entire life that I was hit by my parents, and I know that each time I more than deserved it. But thats precisely the point - I never forgot those times. It does make a difference. It should only be used as a last resort of course, but to say that parents have no rights to decide how to bring up their children is truly sad. As I said, big brother is here. Now people are told how to raise their children?

The ironic thing is that I cant really see a lot of good coming out of this in the first place. I mean perhaps the intentions were in the right place - there are some parents out there who do physically abuse their children - and that is not alright. But will this really stop those people? Is a drunk angry father who needs to take out his frustration on someone going to stop and think about the anti-smacking bill before he hits his child? And if you argue that this gives right of prosecution to the police - they already had that anyway - because it is already a crime to abuse a child. The only thing was that if it was not a huge incident and used to correct the child, it wasn't categorised as a crime.

But now it is. Sure, apparently the opposition came up with a compromise where the police have the ability to use their discretion regarding the seriousness of the incident, and thus can decide whether to prosecute. But the point is, come six weeks, as soon as you so much as touch your child with a miniscule amount of force, you are technically a criminal. Sure, noone may complain, but is a thief who isn't caught by the police not a criminal?

And then when it comes to complaining, can you imagine what kids can do with this. Kids today are so media aware that of course they will bring this up with their parents. My mother is a teacher, and she tells me that seven and eight year old kids know that if a teacher uses any physical force towards a child, she is liable to the police. And they dont stop from using this as a threat. So how would you stop a child saying to a parent 'dont you dare touch me or I'll call the police'. What will happen to basic respect that a child has for a parent? And what kind of a society will that be?

Indentity crisis? - i think not!

Last week marked the anniversary of me moving to New Zealand. 12 years ago. Which now officially makes me half Indian and half Kiwi. Now I have read a lot of books and seen enough movies about immigrants feeling lost and not being comfortable in either country. But thankfully, I have never felt that way. In fact, I love the fact that I have the opportunity to be a part of two cultures, that I have a bit of each in me – and I love what that makes me. I don’t think I would have been quite the same person otherwise. I can better understand what is good and bad about each culture. I can appreciate people better. I can be more open minded and less judgemental of people. And I can have two different perspectives on most things I do by just questioning myself. I think it is quite simple to live this life without feeling pressured by either culture. You just need to realise what is important to you, and where your principles stand. For me I know that I can never let go of the values and respect that being Indian has given me. Yet I have the spirit and the friendliness and the don’t-take-yourself-too-seriously attitude of the kiwis. I’m not quite sure why characters in books and movies go through such identity crises – doesn’t being a part of two cultures just make life more interesting?

The best feeling ever...

Life has a funny way of making you realise that you’re wrong. In the days leading up to my birthday, for whatever reason, I had been feeling incredibly lonely. And in that feeling had started forget about what I did have…about all the people who were a part of my life. I really had a wake up call on my birthday though (quite literally…with messages wishing me coming in the middle of the night and early in the morning!). But seriously, I was just completely overwhelmed by the wishes that came my way and the incredible set of friends I have accumulated over the years. I’m not quite sure what I’ve done to deserve them, but my birthday made me realise that I should stop complaining about things that no longer exist and stop to savour what I do have in my life. So thank you to all my friends for making me feel so special on my birthday…and I love you all so much.

Sometimes it feels good just to be alive

I got up this morning to just the most incredibly beautiful morning. There was mist everywhere. I looked out of the window and the sea was completely hidden. I could barely see 10m ahead. Everything was just grey and covered up. But to me it was just stunning. There’s something about fog – maybe it’s the mystery of it. That could be scary too I suppose but this morning the sight was so wow. Driving in the fog I didn’t mind the traffic one bit cause I just loved being able to look around and be outside. We always complain about everything around us – the heat, the cold, the wind, the rain. Hardly ever do we stop and think about how amazing mother nature really is. That’s what she was saying today – look at me, I’m one heck of an artist!